Stephen Baldwin Makes Donald Trump Proud in Classy Mugshot

Stephen Baldwin mugshot 2012Trump’s long-lost son Stephen Baldwin gave Lindsay Lohan a run for her lack of money when he was arrested on Thursday for failing to file tax returns for three years (2008, 2009, and 2010).

According to TMZ, Stephen owes New York $350,000 in back taxes, beating Lohan by $116,096, or a day’s worth of living expenses. Baldwin faces four years in prison, which isn’t a big deal because people who go to jail for tax evasion never get raped as much. I’m a little upset because I forgot that Daniel is the Baldwin who moved to Oregon. Would have been big news for our state, but his classy suit would have sizable mold stains from all THE DAMN RAIN.

Somebody buy me a Gingerbread Latte from Starbucks to shut me up.

Lucky Lindsay Lohan Getting ‘Help’ From Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson

Lindsay Lohan role modelsLindsay Lohan has the luck of a toad stuffed in a mailbox with a handful of lit fireworks, so it’s good that she has helpful people like Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson and Michael Lohan in her life.

After learning that Lindsay owed quite a hefty sum ($233,904) to the IRS, who have seized her bank accounts, Sheen reportedly offered Lindsay $100,000 after getting close with her on the set of Scary Movie 5. That sort of makes sense, I guess. Mel Gibson telling Extra that he “may” help Lindsay makes less sense, except that he must relate to being disliked.

Forget washed-up actors with misplaced paternal feelings! Actual father Michael Lohan has weighed in. “Where is all her money going?” he said in his usual opinionated-but-innocent-bystander type of way.  Continue reading “Lucky Lindsay Lohan Getting ‘Help’ From Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson”

R. Kelly Owes Over $6 Million In Unpaid Taxes

TMZ recently uncovered an astonishing amount of debt for statutory rapist/urinator/R&B singer R. Kelly.

You can add 2011’s $1,379,695 to the nearly $5 million he owes in back taxes for 2005 through 2010. In total, the amount comes to $6,227,767.

How did this happen, besides the obvious answer of him just not caring, and thinking no one would notice?

His rep responded to the news, saying that his client “takes this very seriously” and is in the process of contacting the IRS to resolve the issue.

Maybe his upcoming “Single Ladies Tour will result in enough cash for him to come out of the closet and pay the fuck up, OR he’ll be prison cell neighbors with Wesley Snipes.