Video: Lorde – “Team”

Lorde JUST turned 17, probably wrote the majority of the songs from her debut when she was like 12 because she’s some sort of chart-topping genius and is generally amazing.

“Team” is as good as anything from Pure Heroine, and Lorde (pronounced “Lord,” real name: Ella Yelich-O’Connor) and her friends drink out of milk cartons and bounce around in boat yards in the video.

She’s actually so insanely popular that “Team” crashed the living crap out of YouTube. 

Sign My Fake Petition To Send David Beckham to China

David Beckham China jerseyThe Mirror is reporting a story about David Beckham throwing his cleats, soccer balls and four kids into a bag and moving overseas to play for a Chinese Super League team.

Sadly, there is a 99% chance that this story is false (a line on a map from London to Shanghai is not exactly solid evidence).

“It was sheer rumour,” an insider told the South China Morning Post. “Shenhua has no financial strength to sign another superstar.”

I wanted David to go play with former Chelsea strikers Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba in China. The further him and his freaky fembot wife with the “sing and wave” button are from here, the better.

Continue reading “Sign My Fake Petition To Send David Beckham to China”

Dennis Rodman Holds Tryouts For Topless Women’s Basketball Team

If you are a woman with minor hoop skills whose face and body does not resemble a penny that has been put on a train track, then I suggest you go to New York and try out for Dennis Rodman’s topless basketball team!

I always felt that this was what all women’s teams needed to do to increase ticket sales, but never had the guts to say it. Who needs knocker slings anyway right?

Actually, I lied, you can’t try out because the two teams consist of tall exotic dancers only, who are already employed at Rick’s Cabaret (DR has been a customer for over 30 years) and Headquarters Gentleman’s Club. But hey, at least it’s for charity.

Kelly Dwyer of Yahoo Sports seemed quite put off by the whole thing, especially because of Rodman’s statement: “I don’t know too many men that don’t like a good-looking woman running up and down around the court.” 

Continue reading “Dennis Rodman Holds Tryouts For Topless Women’s Basketball Team”