Things Worth Noting from the ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Teaser

John Boyega star wars
Before sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner I ask my Mom how she feels about new Star Wars movies being made and I learn that she had NO IDEA about the George Lucas abominations made long after the good ones from the ’70s and ’80s.

She might be the luckiest woman on earth, and not just because I’m her daughter.
droid bot volleyball gif the force awakens
Anyway, the new trailer – which hopes to fully erase The Phantom Menace from our minds as well – features a scared black man, a bot riding around on a volleyball and a mysterious member of the dark side hunched over in the woods. (Space Voldemort?)

An authoritative voice tells us “There has been an awakening.” How awake are we?

Continue reading “Things Worth Noting from the ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Teaser”

Orange is the New Black to Return June 6!

Awesome news to any and all who miss the amazingly lesbocentric and oddly heartwarming comedy about creepy prison guards and the women they terrorize -your favorite show to binge-watch Orange is the New Black, returns June 6.

More post-Valentine’s cheer from the OITNB tree, not only is ’90s darling Lori Petty (do I even need to utter the words “There’s no crying in baseball”?), but Netflix has released a season two teaser. It’s under 20 seconds and reveals absolutely nothing in terms of plot, but on the bright side, there’s probably more to come.

Random fact learned while Googling the show: Uzo Aduba was a figure skater for 10 years. Picture Crazy Eyes dancing on ice and tell me I didn’t just blow your mind. Continue reading “Orange is the New Black to Return June 6!”

Teaser Trailer: Machete Kills

Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba are back for Machete Kills, the anticipated sequel to 2010’s Machete directed by Robert Rodriguez (From Dusk Till Dawn, Sin City, Planet Terror).

New crazed/cartoonish faces include Mel Gibson, Amber Heard, Antonio Banderas, Lady Gaga, Cuba Gooding Jr.,  Sofia Vergara and Charlie Sheen (billed as “Carlos Estevez”). Plot details, from G4:

William Sadler’s small town sheriff gets an all-too-critical call from the U.S. President to release Machete. (Who he took into custody without the use of Extremis.) It seems the President has a mission for Machete to take down an evil arms dealer played by a more sane version of Mel Gibson.

MACHETE KILLSLady Gaga Machete

‘Star Trek Into The Darkness’ Teaser Has Fire and Brimstone, and Khan?

Kirk and Khan Into The DarknessChris Pine, Zoe Saldaña, Zachary Quinto, Simon Pegg, John Cho and Anton Yelchin face a new villain in Star Trek Into The Darknessone who may or may not be superhuman Kirk nemesis Khan.

2009’s Star Trek reboot starred Eric Bana as the Spock-obsessed Romulan Captain Nero, while 2013’s focuses on a new terror played by Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock, War Horse).

In this 66 second teaser, we hear the anonymous evil-doer (please let it be Khan) threaten Starfleet and eternal-sci-fi-damsel-in-distress earth with the words “You think your world is safe? It is an illusion” and “Enjoy your final moments of peace.” Continue reading “‘Star Trek Into The Darkness’ Teaser Has Fire and Brimstone, and Khan?”

This Teaser Will Make You Remember The Name ‘Carrie,’ In Case You Forgot 36 Years Ago

Since almost nobody under the age of 25 has read Stephen King’s acclaimed novel Carrie, Screen Gems and MGM have decided to capitalize on the story’s relevance (teen bullying) by making a third version.

Everyone remembers the original in 1976 but few saw or can recall the remake in 2002 starring Patricia Clarkson and Angela Bettis (Girl, Interrupted, May). This one, due March 15, 2013, also has a promising director (Boys Don’t Cry‘s Kimberly Peirce) and cast…

Chloë Grace Moretz (despite King himself suggesting Lindsay Lohan) as the teen with an unstable harness on her telekinetic powers and Julianne Moore as Margaret, the fanatic mother who believes her sheltering parenting techniques are saving her daughter from the very hellfire she eventually unleashes upon her pig’s blood-dumping classmates.  Continue reading “This Teaser Will Make You Remember The Name ‘Carrie,’ In Case You Forgot 36 Years Ago”

Multiple ‘Man Of Steel’ Trailers!

Two minute and a half long teasers for Man Of Steel came out and they are exactly the same except for that one is narrated by Russell Crowe, and the other by my one true love, Kevin Costner.

The trailer reveals nothing except a scene of Superman flying at the very end, which is ultimately the most worrisome and untranslatable thing in a superhero movie. But Iron Man made it work, so why not Clark Kent?  Continue reading “Multiple ‘Man Of Steel’ Trailers!”

Will Robert Pattinson And David Cronenberg’s ‘Cosmopolis’ Lay Twilight To Rest?

There’s an official nudity-heavy teaser trailer for Robert Pattinson’s latest movie, Cosmopolis.

 It is directed by David Cronenberg (The Fly, Eastern Promises) and co-stars Jay Baruchel, Samantha Morton, Paul Giamatti and Juliette Binoche.

The movie is based on Don Delillo’s novel about Eric Packer, a 28 year-old millionaire who is being pursued by two threats and begins to lose his fortune on his adventures within a day in Manhattan.

It does have one thing in common with Twilight, it’s filmed in Canada. Toronto, to be exact. “I’ve never shot a foot of film in the U.S., even though a lot of my movies are set there,” Cronenberg told students during a lecture at Queens University.  Continue reading “Will Robert Pattinson And David Cronenberg’s ‘Cosmopolis’ Lay Twilight To Rest?”