Take Your Butter Money and Run, Girl: Paula Deen Fired From Food Network

Paula Deen apology videoPaula Deen, Mistress of Carbs, maker of delicious, oozing vodka-soaked chicken with chocolate sauce and essence of Hostess Twinkies, has been terminated by the Food Network after she attempted to apologize (twice) for casually admitting that she uses the n-word.

Before telling the public they’d chosen not to renew her contract, the Food Network issued a statement assuring everyone that they do not tolerate bigotry no matter how delicious the bigot’s food is.

“Food Network does not tolerate any form of discrimination and is a strong proponent of diversity and inclusion. We will continue to monitor the situation,” they clarified.

Mrs. Deen and her people scrambled all day to set it right, booking an appearance on the Today Show that was eventually cancelled in favor of a second apology video (first HERE).

Clumps of mascara circled her eyes like helicopters behind Snoop Dogg’s house as her tears [and the tears of her fans] soaked into the ground and gave all the worms and moles severe chest pains and a sudden shooting pain in their arm.  CLICK to watch the video…

Scott Weiland Thought He Was Still in Stone Temple Pilots, Until He Turned on His Computer

Scott Weiland angryI can’t even remember how many times Stone Temple Pilots have broken up and gotten back together since the 90’s, when I bought a worn-out, nicotine-smelling cassette tape of Core.

I know you think it’s because of drugs, and I’m sure it partially is, but it’s also been said that Scott is a huge diva narcissist who never shows up anywhere on time…

Most recently, the three vocally challenged Pilot members wrote that they had “officially” fired Weiland on their website, just one day after he insisted the rumors of a break-up were “all hearsay.”

Weiland responded with a statement of his own, revealing that he didn’t know what had happened until he read about it in the news on Feb. 27.  Continue reading “Scott Weiland Thought He Was Still in Stone Temple Pilots, Until He Turned on His Computer”

Chad Johnson Punished By NFL And VH1 For Head-Butting Incident

Both VH1 and the Miami Dolphins are cutting ties with wide receiver Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson after he sent his wife, Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada to the ER.

The fight reportedly began when Lozada accused Johnson of infidelity after discovering a receipt for condoms. Much like Chris Brown, who was famously “caught in a lie” by Rihanna, Chad retaliated with violence. A head-butt, to be specific.

The Dolphins terminated his one-year contract and his 11-episode reality show co-starrig his wife, Ev & Ocho, was cancelled by VH1 before it aired.