Latest Ford Hood Shooter Had a History of Instability

Ivan Lopez shooterThe commanding general at Fort Hood in Killeen, Texas – where 34-year-old enlisted soldier Ivan Lopez shot and killed three fellow officers and then himself with a semi-automatic pistol on Wednesday, April 3 – says Lopez had a questionable medical history that may at least partly explain his behavior.

“We have very strong evidence that he had a medical history that indicates an unstable psychiatric or psychological condition. We’re going through all records to ensure that is, in fact, is correct,” Gen. Mark Milley told reporters today, adding that they believe his condition was the “underlying causal factor.” (Not that you can ever truly “explain” murder.)

Sixteen were wounded in this latest Fort Hood shooting, a military base that was plagued by a similar incident in 2009 that left 13 dead and more than 30 injured at the hands of Army psychiatrist Nidal Hasan.

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Underage Justin Bieber Grabs a Beer and a Handful of Texan Stripper Booty

justin bieber shirtless strip clubSome girls break free of their clean-cut image by wearing more revealing clothing and making risky non nun-approved career moves, but Justin Bieber isn’t like the other girls.

He breaks free by being completely topless in public, drinking Dos Equis and molesting exotic dancer sirloin.

Would he get girls (or boys) if he wasn’t famous? Yes, but not nearly as many.

Instead of being at some ultra-packed strip club in Texas, he’d be at the dive on the corner throwing quarters into the cheese-filled ass dimples of girls with nicknames like Buckwheat and Tiny.

I’m about to turn my own life around and open a really popular club in L.A. with a strict “no shirt, no service” policy for the sole satisfaction of rejecting Justin the second him and his goofball entourage catch wind of it just to prove that rules do in fact apply to them.

Read: Unbeliebable: 33-year-old Bieber fan has $100k of plastic surgery to look like his idol

Fiona Apple Will Go To Jail For At Least Two Years

Because possessing hash in Texas is a third-degree felony, Fiona Apple faces up to 10 years in jail after her arrest on Wednesday for having four grams on her tour bus (big surprise, the lady with the octopus on her head likes THC).

A third-degree felony in the lone star state gets you at least two years in prison and a maximum of 10, according to the penal code.

Apple was busted in Hudspeth, the same county where Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg were detained. At a concert on Friday in Houston at  Bayou Music Center, she attempted to explain what happened.

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Fiona Apple Arrested For Having Hash On Her Tour Bus, Falls Asleep During Mugshot

Indie pop darling Fiona Apple was arrested on Wednesday night for drug possession.

Officers with drug-sniffing dogs at a border stop in Sierra Blanca, Texas discovered two containers with a decent amount (.02 pounds) of hash and weed on her tour bus.

Apple was held at Hudspeth County Jail until Thursday afternoon, where she was released on $10,000 bail.

Well, now she can sing “Criminal” with even more conviction. One of many gangsters to be arrested after police found suspicious things on their tour buses… She’s just like Lil’ Wayne, Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson.  Continue reading “Fiona Apple Arrested For Having Hash On Her Tour Bus, Falls Asleep During Mugshot”

Texas Restaurant Gives Two-Cent Discount To The ‘Best Butt’

The Texas restaurant Twisted Root‘s Richardson location is offering two-cent discounts to women with nice butts, and another two-cents if they’re good-looking [in the face?] as well.

An employee at the famously zany burger joint posted the above receipt to Reddit with the message, “I work at Twisted Root! We have these random discounts we can give out for fun.”  Continue reading “Texas Restaurant Gives Two-Cent Discount To The ‘Best Butt’”

Happy 4/20 From Willie Nelson! Now Save Money And Legalize It, Government Morons

Yesterday was 4/20! A day for burnouts who already smoke pot daily to smoke even more pot and text their friends pictures of half-empty baggies full of green stank. It’s also Hitler’s birthday. Unsettling.

In honor of that (Mary Jane, not Hitler) I will tell you three stoner-related stories, well two about Willie Nelson and one on money we’d save as a country if the damn stuff was legalized already.

First, an 8-foot bronze statue of the king of hemp hippies (Willie) was unveiled in Austin yesterday AND he released a version of “Roll Me Up And Smoke Me When I Die” featuring Kris Kristofferson and Snoop Dogg. From smokable books to Tupac to this. Now, about that tricky federal deficit…  Continue reading “Happy 4/20 From Willie Nelson! Now Save Money And Legalize It, Government Morons”

Khloe And Lamar Are Going To The Longhorn State

It’s official, Lamar Odom has been traded to the Dallas Mavericks after his original trade to the Hornets with Pau Gasol (to Houston) for Chris Paul was rejected by NBA commissioner David Stern. The trade came at Odom’s request.

What this means for non-avid sports fans is a move for Khloe Kardashian, and a new location for one of four Kardashian-related reality shows, Khloe & Lamar. Who knows where the fate of Khloe & Kourtney Take Miami lies.

Originally Khloe Tweeted“I would go anywhere with my hubby,” and “I can survive anywhere, people are acting crazy! LOL New Orleans is a great place. As long as I’m with Lam, I’m good.” Her latest words of Twitter art are made of the same peppy material…

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Want Christmas Spirit? Borrow It From This Lady

A woman in New Deal, Texas, has filled her home with over 200 Christmas trees and countless trinkets such as Coca-Coca polar bears and Santa figurines.

Sheryl Rieken, who lives with her family just Northeast of Lubbock in a 2,700 square foot home, has a Christmas tree decorated for every theme you can imagine.

This includes individual trees filled with My Little Ponies, Treasure Trolls, New Deal Lions HS football memorabilia, Looney Tunes, Elvis, Scooby-Doo, M&M’s and Spongebob Squarepants knick knacks. Riekan made many of the ornaments on one particular tree out of tongue depressors, clothespins, paintbrushes and pictures of her grandchildren.

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New Girl In A Coma CD, Coming in November!

[Video, “Walking After Midnight,” from 2010’s Adventures in Coverland, directed by bassist Jenn Alva]

I just got back from seeing The Go-Gos on their Ladies Gone Wild tour with none other than one of my favorite Texas indie outfits, Girl In A Coma, named after a Smiths’ song and signed to Joan Jett’s Blackheart record label.

Continue reading “New Girl In A Coma CD, Coming in November!”