Please put your vaseline-stained hands together and welcome the latest additions to The Twist…
First we have Sean Cocca, who already came under fire by an angry preschool teacher for writing about Jessica Simpson’s unappealing knockers, yes, the same ones you saw floating above that car lot in the bad part of town.
The second is Logan Victor Xavier of X-Men, obviously. Why wouldn’t I hire Wolverine/Sabretooth/Professor X hybrid? He doubles as a bodyguard, I’m talking to you, Holly.
Last but not least, to even out the gender spectrum, there’s Mary Jump. She’s a blogger and recent college graduate who, like me, can’t help but keep up with the Kardashians.