Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-8-12]

Lolo Jones almost won a medal on Tuesday, U.S. media still compares her to Kournikova (Yahoo!)

Cops arrest a very naked Randy Travis in Texas (TMZ)

Trailblazer Nicolas Batum banned from Olympics after punching a guy in the nuts (NBC)

Bob Hoskins diagnosed with parkinson’s, retires from acting (L.A. Times)

First female NFL ref will debut at Packers game (Huffington Post)

Jennie Garth didn’t need to lose weight, but she did anyway (Us Magazine)

Macy’s Music Festival attendee greeted with racist message in hotel room (eurthisnthat)

Obama wants to take away your pizza (Global Grind)

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher hold hands and sing kumbaya on a tropical island (Evil Beet)

Indian man padlocked his wife’s vagina (Hurriyet Daily News)

Hillary Clinton does the Elaine (NY Daily News)

The Twist Has Three New Writers!

Please put your vaseline-stained hands together and welcome the latest additions to The Twist…

First we have Sean Cocca, who already came under fire by an angry preschool teacher for writing about Jessica Simpson’s unappealing knockers, yes, the same ones you saw floating above that car lot in the bad part of town.

The second is Logan Victor Xavier of X-Men, obviously. Why wouldn’t I hire Wolverine/Sabretooth/Professor X hybrid? He doubles as a bodyguard, I’m talking to you, Holly.

Last but not least, to even out the gender spectrum, there’s Mary Jump. She’s a blogger and recent college graduate who, like me, can’t help but keep up with the Kardashians.

The Twist Is Hiring! Contributors Wanted

Okay, so “hiring” would suggest that this is a paying job and it wouldn’t be, at least not yet.

I’ve actually been trying to lure people into writing a few posts for me a week for several months now but have had no luck with Craigslist.

The Twist has grown exponentially since it’s launch in August of 2011 with over a million hits total and around 7,000 a day and upwards, at this point. I’m starting to get a little worn down, not that I’d ever stop.

If you constantly find yourself making fun of celebrities, this is the perfect job for you. Express yourself, without being a tired hag who wishes she could suck the youth out of Lady Gaga.

Continue reading “The Twist Is Hiring! Contributors Wanted”

1000th POST! (Follow Me On Twitter And Facebook)

Any of you devoted Twist readers, or fair weather ones… Or even people who are irked by my excessively immature posts – please follow me on Twitter and Facebook!

I made a new Twitter just for The Twist (@TheTwistGossip) which I will try to post new articles to and update with occasional juicy tidbits. (Stories, funny celebrity retweets, misc. comments, Twist quotes etc.)  Continue reading “1000th POST! (Follow Me On Twitter And Facebook)”

Twist Pictures Of The Week, Part 2!

I’ve completed the second edition of “Pictures Of The Week,” click below to view the slideshow! Featuring Kim Kardashian’s heart-shaped psoriasis, Nicki Minaj AND Britney Spears lap dances AND topless Heidi Klum.

https://thetwistgossip.com/gallery/pictures-of-the-week-second-edition/

[YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO CLICK THE LINK]

Rest in Peace Miss Winehouse. You Were a Fucking Genius.

Amy Jade Winehouse
September 14th, 1983-July 23rd 2011

If you were to ask me a few months ago what celebrity was most likely to not make it to the age of 30, I would have thought about it for less than two minutes, and then said “Amy Winehouse.” My second guess would have been Lindsay Lohan, though we all know LL isn’t quite spiralling down a glass pipe smoke slide in the same way that Amy Winehouse was. This chick was in St. Lucia for over a year, becoming more and more bizarre with the release of each tabloid. Ex-husband drama, weight issues, drugs, breast implants…

…The great thing is, nobody cared about any of that even a fraction as much as they cared about news of new material. Amy Winehouse made two CDs in her lifetime. Her first, Frank, out in 2003, was more of an experimental growing process for Winehouse.

Her second, Back To Black was another story. Like Lady Gaga’s The Fame or Adele’s 21, Back To Black become a huge part of pop culture. The crucial time had arrived when actually going to rehab was simply a better option for celebrities. Plus, it boosted morale to venture to Cirque Lodge or Promises. For a celebrity, it signified improvement. “I am better, I am checking into rehab, I admitted my problem and am seeking help.”

Continue reading “Rest in Peace Miss Winehouse. You Were a Fucking Genius.”