Joe Pesci Gave Jonah Hill a Rectal Exam

Jonah Hill butt fingers storyThere are only a handful of men as weird and wonderful (and elusive) as Joe Pesci, right? I mean there’s Bill Murray… Sean Penn, maybe? And that’s really it.

Mobster extraordinaire and two-time Home Alone villain Pesci recently approached Jonah Hill at The Wolf Of Wall Street premiere to give him some sage advice about getting a swollen ego and allowing people to over-sing his praises.

“He goes, ‘You’re great in the movie, kid, I’m really proud of you.’ And I’m like, ‘Thank you, your acting means so much to me,'” Hill told Jimmy Fallon. “And he goes, ‘Here’s what I want you to do: I want you to go buy a helmet.’ And I go, ‘okay…'”  Continue reading “Joe Pesci Gave Jonah Hill a Rectal Exam”

Oscar Predictions: ‘American Hustle’ Will Probably Win Best Picture, But Like Jon Snow, I Know Nothing

jennifer lawrence thank god for me kitchen fire american hustle gif
The Oscar nominations list has been released and the important categories (best picture, actor, actress etc.) include a whole lot of the same non-crap we saw at the Globes, and I have a lot of questions.

Does Sandra Bullock spinning through fake space in a tank top and booty shorts constitute a nomination or is she just too beloved by the world Academy to ever not be honored?

Can Leonardo DiCaprio score his first win for the most picked-apart movie of the year, The Wolf of Wall Street? If Ralph Fiennes couldn’t win for Schindler’s List, then no, he can’t.

Like me, they still see Leo as the baby-faced Romeo who fucked Tilda Swinton on a beach.

I didn’t see Nebraska, Philomena (or “Phil-o-mania,” as DiCaprio called it last Sunday), 12 Years a Slave, Dallas Buyers Club OR Captain Phillips, so I’m rooting for the one I did see and liked. [David O.] Russell’s [AmericanHustle, not because it had an original premise, but because Christian Bale, Jeremy Renner, Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence are golden Gods and Goddesses all worthy of a statue or two.

Continue reading “Oscar Predictions: ‘American Hustle’ Will Probably Win Best Picture, But Like Jon Snow, I Know Nothing”