New Star Wars Movie Will Be Called…

the force awakens memeDisney has revealed the title of the first film in an upcoming string of attempts to heal the damage caused by George Lucas’ last three sequels.

The official title is “The Force Awakens,” which sounds like the Eat, Pray, Love of Star Wars movies to me. Unlike, The Phantom Menace – which was written by racially insensitive preschool students –  and its follow-ups, The Force Awakens features original withering cast members and  J.J. Abrams as director.  Continue reading “New Star Wars Movie Will Be Called…”

Rihanna’s Chalice Is Happy On ‘Unapologetic’ Album Cover

Rihanna has released a new album every fall since 2005’s Music of the Sun with the exception of the one year break between Good Girl Gone Bad and Rated R. 

Her latest is titled Unapologetic and has a set release date of November 19, 2012.

In case you forget that it’s called Unapologetic and that she herself will never apologize for dating Chris Brown, she’s written it all over her body, along with other choice words and numbers like “7,” “happy,” “fearless,” “chalice,” “side effects,” “roc,” “faith,” “victory,” “#navy” “diamonds,” “love” and “fun.”

Phuck you Chris Brown and giant Egpytian boob tattoo/carefully placed words.  Continue reading “Rihanna’s Chalice Is Happy On ‘Unapologetic’ Album Cover”

Joey Buttafuoco’s ‘Closure,’ Better Or Worse Title Than Ex-Wife And Mistress’ Books?

This is the one time you’ll be wishing Joey Buttafuoco DIDN’T have debilitating health issues.

The mechanic whose “charm” caused his mistress, 17-year-old Amy Fisher, to shoot his wife in the face in 1992, is writing a book about the events that took place 20 years ago.

The notorious statutory rapist was inspired to write the memoir, titled Closure, after he almost died of diverticulitis (pouches of stool trapped in the intestinal lining) in December of 2011.

Maybe he can answer some important questions like “why did Mary Jo Buttafuoco wait until 2003 to file for divorce?” and “how on earth were TWO women in the state of New York interested in you?”

Continue reading “Joey Buttafuoco’s ‘Closure,’ Better Or Worse Title Than Ex-Wife And Mistress’ Books?”

Florence + The Machine Sophomore Album Details

The highly anticipated second album from Florence Welch and her machine, Ceremonials, is due out on October 31 (Halloween!) in the UK.

From the song titles, stuff like “All This And Heaven Too,” the name of the LP seems to really fit. It seems very spiritual, but not preachy, I’d assume. The red-headed Bohemian fairy would never do that to me…

Continue reading “Florence + The Machine Sophomore Album Details”