Trailer: Godzilla

For those looking to fill the void left by Pacific Rim, there’s a new Godzilla coming in spring of 2014.

Directed by relative unknown Gareth Edwards and released by Legendary Pictures, the classic monster flick’s new teaser is narrated by a seriously ominous David Strathairn.

It also stars Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Olsen, Ken Watanabe, Juliette Binoche and Kickass’ Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who is scooping up roles Shia LaBeouf would have been offered years ago, before he became a dreadlock-having piece of penis-flashing performance art.

Trailer: The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Sony made their point completely rebooting Spider-Man just five years after Spider-Man 3 and we let it slide because 1) we had no choice and 2) we hoped the sequel would be better.

While this trailer does make The Amazing Spider-Man 2 look better than it’s predecessor, I question if it will be better or equal to Spider-Man 1 and 2 with Tobey Maguire.

Marvel’s villains continue to fail in comparison to DC’s, as Jamie Foxx’s Electro looks as silly and non-threatening as The Lizard and Sandman from Marc Webb AND Sam Raimi’s interpretations but the new, grittier Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan, In Treatment) may just save the film.

WATCH: Live-Action ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts’ Trailer

Activision continues the big-budget video game trailer craze with Ghosts, developer Infinity Ward’s anticipated return to the Call of Duty franchise since Modern Warfare 3, in 2011.

Titled “Epic Night Out” and set to the tune of Sinatra’s “I’m Gonna Live Till I Die,” the teaser features a brief appearance by Megan Fox, who comes between three soldiers stuck in crossfire at a Las Vegas casino.

Continue reading “WATCH: Live-Action ‘Call of Duty: Ghosts’ Trailer”

Trailer: X-Men: Days of Future Past

Though I think it was kind of douchey for Bryan Singer to take back the franchise he killed from Matthew Vaughn, the man who revitalized it with X Men: First Class, Days of Future Past looks promising.

With the help of Picard and Gandalf’s narration, Hugh Jackman’s bare chest and Jennifer Lawrence’s tears, Singer may successfully Febreze away the stench of X Men: The Last Stand.

WATCH: Final ‘Hunger Games: Catching Fire’ Trailer

In the third and final trailer for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, which hits theaters November 22, we see Katniss attempting to escape from the monkey island that is entirely controlled by disapproving Capital watchdogs. THE SUSPENSE, THE SUSPENSE… oh wait, I read the book.

Trailer: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

It’s always really hard for me to tell if it’s Chris Evans making that confused face, or Chris Evans ACTING confused as Steve Rogers, but either way, Captain America is back in his second feature film and he’s still as annoyingly righteous as ever. “This isn’t freedom, it’s fear!” Ugh.

Good thing Nick Fury and Bitch Widow are there to verbally slap him and bring him back to reality.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier co-starring Scarlett Johansson, Anthony Mackie and Robert Redford his theaters April of 2014, before Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy (August 2014) and The Avengers: Age of Ultron (May 2015).  Continue reading “Trailer: Captain America: The Winter Soldier”

Trailer: Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

Another Paranormal Activity movie? I need this like I need the crazy teenage boy supreme pizza acne I acquired after forgetting to take my thyroid medication.

Unlike its predecessors, The Marked Ones isn’t coming out this month and is more a relative of the prior films than a direct sequel. The trailer, which does make mention of Katie, centers around a young Latino man (Andrew Jacobs) with an absurd amount of string in his eye and super demon strength.
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Read: First Trailer for Found Footage Horror Film DEVIL’S DUE Starring Zach Gilford

Trailer: That Awkward Moment

That Awkward Moment, as in, that awkward moment when Zac Efron and Miles Teller (The Spectacular Now) take viagra and can’t pee without planking over the toilet bowl, hits theaters January 31st.

Also starring Michael B. Jordan and Imogen Poots, the movie seems to be about that moment when cave-dwelling manchildren fall in love get their nuts clipped.  Continue reading “Trailer: That Awkward Moment”

Trailer: Breaking Bad Season 5 (Part 2)

The new teaser for the second half of Breaking Bad season five is Bryan Cranston fully committed to reading the sonnet “Ozymandias” while the camera pans to sandy New Mexico landscapes.

The poem thematically explores the decline of great men, which is fitting because already assumed Walt’s fate would have to mirror Dexter’s. (As in, happy endings are for Pixar?)
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I would say it’s the end of non-premium cable drama if Sons of AnarchyMad Men and The Walking Dead didn’t exist. No hate. Of course I’ll miss the show, but it just feels like the right time for it to end.

Trailer: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire #2

Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Primrose and the rest of the non-Capital inhabitants (plus actual Capital inhabitants) are in for a whole new mess of trouble in the upcoming Hunger Games movie…

After reading the book I was excited to see the island the games take place on in the trailer, and that does finally happen here if only for a few brief seconds (2:18). Plus… Finnick and Johanna!
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I guess I’ll just have to actually watch it in the theater and see the lightning, monkeys fog and blood rain for myself. Click HERE for Catching Fire trailer #1, released in April. In theaters Nov. 22.

Trailer: The Walking Dead Season 4

I have a slightly love/hate relationship with The Walking Dead. Not to the extent that I do Glee or The Newsroom, two shows that I continue to watch and have no idea why, but with TWD my expectations are high and my thought process is like:

“Derp. This season is just okay, oh wait, it’s good again!”

“Are they ever going to find that little girl?”
Michonne and Maggie
“Why doesn’t anyone kill The Governor when they have the chance?”  Continue reading “Trailer: The Walking Dead Season 4”

Trailer: Oldboy

I’m not sure what to think about Spike Lee directing a remake of the 2003 South Korean thriller Oldboy…

Originally directed by Cannes-favorite Chan-wook Park, Oldboy was/is a really disturbing and intriguing movie about a man who is finally released from imprisonment after 15 years (20 in the remake starring Josh Brolin). One of the “best” scenes involves the eating of a live octopus. Seriously.
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I love Brolin and Samuel L. Jackson and Elizabeth Olsen, but holy crap Spike Lee’s hit-and-miss career makes me nervous for the outcome.  Continue reading “Trailer: Oldboy”

Selena Gomez Attempts Onscreen Badassery (For The Second Time) in ‘Getaway’

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My new favorite trailer is to hate-watch is Getaway, a completely bizarre tale of cars and kidnap featuring Ethan Hawke and Selena Gomez. (Pretty much the oddest pairing since Samuel L. Jackson chained a half-naked Christina Ricci to a radiator in Black Snake Moan.)

Selena Gomez takes the Vanessa Hudgens’ route (from High School Musical to Sucker PunchSpring Breakers and Gimme Shelter) as that kind of adorable but ratty little sister who you wish would stop climbing out the window to hang out with the neighborhood chain smoker.  Continue reading “Selena Gomez Attempts Onscreen Badassery (For The Second Time) in ‘Getaway’”

Trailer: Elysium

I saw a million trailers before Man of Steel (including one for Gravity a.k.a. Sandy Bullock and George Clooney lost in space), and one of the more interesting ones was Neill Blomkamp’s Elysium. 

In interviews, the Canadian director describes his latest film, starring Jodie Foster and Matt Damon as two people on opposite spectrums of the class system, as “three times bigger” than his previous film, District 9.

Blomkamp also promises that he has not lost his edge or storytelling ability with the bigger budget.
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“Even though it cost $100 million, it should look like a $200 million film,” he tells the Wall Street Journal. “It should be punching significantly above its weight. The same way “District 9″ looked more than it cost $30 million. They both operate by the same principle.”  Continue reading “Trailer: Elysium”

Trailer: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

In the new trailer for the second Hobbit movie, The Desolation of Smaug, we get a few glimpses of Orlando Bloom: House of Wax edition, plus a totally LOST Evangeline Lilly and Lee Pace as Thranduil.

No sign of Smaug with the pleasant voice of Benedict Cumberbatch yet, but we all know Peter Jackson will turn him into Bowser. Like Gollum, Smaug is kind of a likable villain, but not cartoonishly likeable. (If An Unexpected Journey taught me anything, it’s that we can’t pray that crap away.)
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HURRY LEGOLAS! KILL THE EYBROWS AND THEN KILL YOURSELF!  Continue reading “Trailer: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug”

Trailer: 300: Rise of an Empire

I’ve tried to tell myself that there’s no such thing as a movie for men. There are just bad movies and good movies and okay movies and they all appeal to somebody regardless of gender.

IF THERE WERE MOVIES FOR MEN I think I’d list Transformers, anything with Mark Wahlberg (besides The Departed and The Fighter) and 300. All action and no story. My ovaries are dry. 300 rise of an empire posterEva Green 300: Rise of an Empire poster archer bow and arrow
The latest is 300: Rise of an Empirewhere we see Gerard Butler and his painted abs replaced with Sullivan Stapleton (whoever that is), plus the return of the queen, Lena Headey, and Rodrigo Santoro as Xerxes.

Eva Green (Dark Shadows, Casino Royale) and Jack O’Connell (Cook from Skins) play newcomers Artemisia and Calisto. “She’s kind of a Lady Macbeth/Cleopatra character,” Green told Entertainment Weekly. “She’s obsessed by vengeance and wants to go to war with the Greeks.”

Trailer: The To Do List

I’ve always been interested in the idea of a female American Pie or Last American Virgin, and it seems that has arrived in The To Do List, about an inexperienced high school graduate looking to pawn off her hymen.

In the red band trailer we see the cynical main character (Aubrey Plaza) attempting to catch the eye of a doofy blonde lifeguard (Scott Porter) who she hopes will practice rim jobs and shockers with her.

There’s also awkward Bill Hader and Rachel Bilson sex, written and directed by Hader’s wife, Maggie Carey.
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The To Do List, co-starring Connie Britton, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Clark Gregg, Alia Shawkat, Donald Glover, Sarah Steele and Andy Samberg, hits theaters July 26.