‘Snowpiercer’ is a Much Grittier ‘The Hunger Games,’ For Railway Enthusiasts

Chris Evans snowpiercer still If you haven’t seen Snowpiercer yet, you need to, immediately. Here’s what it’s about, in case you saw it on one of those Best of 2014 lists and were still on the fence….

Basically, in the future – 2031 to be exact – the human race has decided to release a chemical into the atmosphere to cool the climate, but it works too well and freezes everything and the last few remnants of mankind are stuck on a train that circles earth once a year.

It’s based on a French graphic novel (Le Transperceneige), and is basically a much grittier, gorier South Korean version of The Hunger Games, except on a train.

With Chris Evans as Katniss (or Princess Elsa), Jamie Bell as Peeta, Tilda Swinton as Effy, and Ed Harris as President Snow. HUNGER TRAIN!
Frozen arm snowpiercer
The train circles the earth once a year and works on a horribly unfair class system, with the people at the back of the train eating roach protein and getting their arms frozen off and broken with sledgehammers by the rich sushi-eating folk at the front when they misbehave.

Brooding dude in a beanie Curtis (Captain America) decides to do something about it and break through the security gates to take control of the “eternal engine” with the help of an imprisoned drug addict and his clairvoyant daughter.  Continue reading “‘Snowpiercer’ is a Much Grittier ‘The Hunger Games,’ For Railway Enthusiasts”

Alabama woman cheats death

22-year-old Lynsey Horne's mugshot
“Very lucky” Auburn woman Lynsey Horne’s mugshot

On Wednesday morning authorities in Auburn, Alabama received several calls from concerned citizens who reported a woman was run over by a train.

Turns out the women fell asleep on the train track and the train passed over her.

When police arrived at the scene, 22-year- old Lynsey Horne was still asleep on the train tracks.

So of course this lady was very intoxicated, according to Auburn police Captain Lorenza Dorsey, but luckily she was uninjured.

“She’s very fortunate that the train went over her and did not strike her,” Dorsey told The Huffington Post on Friday.  Continue reading “Alabama woman cheats death”

Sue Me, I Thought ‘The Walking Dead’ Finale Was Really F*cking Boring

cargo container train car The Walking Dead finale
As anyone with a TV, Facebook or even the most snail-paced internet connection knows – The Walking Dead season 4 finale was on last night.

Considering how uneventful and equally or less exciting than every other non-finale episode, I’m baffled by the amount of websites that called it “shocking,” “exciting” and “brutal.” (Spoilers ahead.)

Carl almost getting raped? – not shocking because we knew it would never happen. Rick being reunited with the gang? – not shocking because we knew it would happen. Rick taking advice from a dead man…? No.
Rick and Daryl season 4 finale still
The real shocker was that nobody died. Not Glenn (dead in the comic) or Maggie (what I expected) or even the new characters, and that the craziest events of the season didn’t occur when the gang ended up trapped in a train car together, but two episodes ago, when crazy-eyed Lizzie exclaimed “Don’t worry, she’ll come back. I didn’t hurt her brain,” after murdering her younger sister.  Continue reading “Sue Me, I Thought ‘The Walking Dead’ Finale Was Really F*cking Boring”

Why Are Maroon 5 Touring With Train??

Is it because both Adam Levine and Pat Monahan are slightly effeminate, brunette male pop singers with ball-less voices?

Is it cause both bands won Grammys? (Maroon 5 in 2005 for Best New Artist, Train for Best Rock Song in 2002)

It seems like an odd pairing to me. Adam Levine is this decade’s”swoon-worthy” poster boy for radio-friendly rock music while Monahan is a turd in the toilet bowl of optimistic top 4o turds.

A sensible person’s idea of hell is Train’s “Drops Of Jupiter (Tell Me)” and “Hey, Soul Sister” repeating on a loudspeaker.

Continue reading “Why Are Maroon 5 Touring With Train??”