Stories I’m too Lazy to Write About [4-3-14]

R.I.P. … True Blood is ending after 2014. (Uproxx)

And hereee’s RoboCop eating donuts… (Grouchy Muffin)

 David Letterman retiring in 2015.  (Rolling Stone)

30 people confirmed dead in WA mudslide. (Yahoo!)

Nene Leakes looks contemplative in ’92 mug shot. (ohmyGAHH)

Wayne Gretzky’s daughter did Golf Digest?? (Deadspin)

Shakira lights herself on fire for “Empire” vid. (Idolator)

Cameron Diaz made a sex tape. (ComingSoon)

Trailer: True Blood Season 6

The vampire and human war continues June 16 on HBO. Judging from faces and words spoken in the True Blood season 6 trailer, Pam and Sookie are scared, Jessica and Eric look happy and Bill seems neutral.

Meanwhile, Alcide blows away all threats (and distracts us from the show’s silliness) by ripping his shirt off.
Eric True Blood season 6
Watch one more one and a half minute trailer for the new season HERE.  Continue reading “Trailer: True Blood Season 6”

Alan Ball Gives Up On His ‘True Blood’ Vampire Baby, Shifts Focus To New Show

Alan Ball, previously known for writing American Beauty and creating Six Feet Under, unleashed True Blood in 2008

A show about a mind-reading waitress in a world where vampires were a recent reality.

There were also shifters, werewolves, fairies, witches, and a maenad.

After five seasons of fangbanging frontal nudity and a finale that reached 5 million viewers, the man behind the onscreen version of Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse Series is dropping handing his duties over to co-executive producer Mark Hudis. Ball tells NPR:

“I look forward to watching it next year. I just look forward to not working as hard.”  Continue reading “Alan Ball Gives Up On His ‘True Blood’ Vampire Baby, Shifts Focus To New Show”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-27-12]

Fairy babies, incest, and exploding vamps. It’s the True Blood season 5 finale! (Rolling Stone)

Emma Stone gets futuristic in new photo shoot. (Interview Magazine)

Playboy playmate Sara Underwood films sexual Carl’s Jr. commercial. (G4)

Rosie O’Donnell secretly got married back in June. (People)

Here’s a picture of a moth that looks a heck of a lot like a poodle. (Grind Tv)

Frank Ocean will perform at MTV Video Music Awards. (Idolator)

The sole male Kardashian is flirting up a storm with Rihanna. (E! Online)

Piers Morgan almost punched by John Edwards’ mistress Rielle Hunter. (Extra)

A million Princess Leias in one place. Of course it’s a Star Wars convention. (io9)

Lindsay Lohan may or may not have stolen a bunch of jewelry. (TMZ)

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-21-12]

A dead fairy really is the best kind. True Blood recap season five, episode 11 “Sunset.” (i09)

Obama is still a military-hating Muslim, says Hank Williams Jr. (CBS)

The “hilarious” Avengers gag reel disappeared from the net in a cloud of Loki smoke. (Mashable)

Lea Michele loves when men pull her top off. (Nylon)

Guess who feels bad for the guy who said women’s bodies reject pregnancy after rape? (Yahoo!)

Miley Cyrus gets a little dub in her step. (Huffington Post)

New perfume bottle looks just like [cyborg] Nicki Minaj. (Spin)

Wynonna Judd‘s husband “Cactus” Moser lost his leg. (Los Angeles Times)

The Office‘s Phyllis was once a St. Louis Cardinals cheerleader. (Grouchy Muffin)

Minka Kelly and James Marsden are Jackie O and JFK, naturally. (E! Online)

Bruce Jenner’s Clone Found On ‘True Blood’

I had the good fortune to notice that Bruce Jenner‘s lookalike was in season five, episode two of True Blood (“Authority Always Wins”). Bruce Jenner, if Kris Jenner finally decided to pour gasoline on him and toss him atop her $5,000 stove.

The vampire in question is a former nurse practitioner who was jailed by the fanged mainstreamers led by Roman Zimojic (Christopher Meloni) for eating babies, instead of delivering them.  Continue reading “Bruce Jenner’s Clone Found On ‘True Blood’”

Anna Paquin For Bust Magazine, June/July 2012

Anna Paquin, star of True Blood and the second youngest person ever to win an Academy Award (Tatum O’Neal is the first) graced the cover of Bust for their June/July issue.

Lisa Butterworth’s interview reveals Paquin’s thoughts on labels and how, even after being condemned by judgmental eyes, she could find no reason “compelling” enough to not date her co-star, Stephen Moyer.

Now they’re married and she’s the stepmother to his two children. Good instincts: check. Brain/beauty: double check.

Disdain for Twitter: “I’d chuck myself in front of a bus for you, but I don’t really care if you put one or two shots of espresso in your coffee this morning.”

On modern femininity: “There are these very archaic stereotypes about female sexuality and what it means to be a woman. You’re supposed to pick a category – are you a girly girl, are you a tomboy, are you this, are you that?”  Continue reading “Anna Paquin For Bust Magazine, June/July 2012”

Nelsan Ellis’ Secret To Playing Lafayette On ‘True Blood’

Nelsan Ellis has played the wildly flamboyant Layfayette on HBO’s True Blood for the past five years (he’s straight in real life).

Creator Alan Ball decided to stray from the Charlaine Harris books the show is based on when he kept Nelsan’s character alive.

Ellis told EW in 2009 that Ball didn’t tell him he wouldn’t be killed off until the 12th episode of season one.

Recently he visited Chelsea Lately and revealed his secret to playing such a realistically gay character…

Chelsea: “How did you decide to play a gay character if you’re a straight guy?”

Nelsan: “I just act like my mama…I’ve been watching her all my life. I’ve been watching her and imitating her. I can just do what she do [snaps fingers].”  Continue reading “Nelsan Ellis’ Secret To Playing Lafayette On ‘True Blood’”

True Blood Finale Summary Quote

In episode 12 of True Blood season four on HBO, a bunch of the usual Sunday ridiculousness took place. Marnie is finally gone and three reoccurring characters died. (I think)

The summary quote for the finale occurs when a crap load of ghosts come out of the woodwork, including Sookie’s gran, Marnie, Antonia (the ancient witch) and later Rene and one of the people who died in the episode. 

“All my life I’ve been afraid.”

-Marnie, the whiny/obvious sorceress

and, runner-up to vampire Pam for,

“I am so over sookie and her precious fairy vagina.”

All the while, Bill and Eric are roasting like Boy Scout marshmallows…

Continue reading “True Blood Finale Summary Quote”

Sunday’s True Blood Summary Quote

In Episode 11 of True Blood season 4, the second to last – Pam, Jessica, Bill and Eric are about to decimate a nest of annoying witches when Sookie’s brother Jason runs up to them and tells them that Sookie (Anna Paquin) is inside and they can’t fire their weapons.

“Fuckin’ Sookie, as usual she’s in the goddamn way.”

-Pam (the wisdom-filled grump of the vamp world)

Sunday’s episode was crazy, I won’t ruin if for you, but let’s just say that something startling happened to Lafayette for the second time this season. (Entourage had a surprise ending as well)

Continue reading “Sunday’s True Blood Summary Quote”

Naked True Blood Recap (NSFW)

Today’s episode of True Blood, like many others, had its fair share of nudity, perhaps the most from Anna Paquin that we’ve ever seen. Eric and Sookie drink eachother’s blood and go on one of those V-trips that we’ve become familiar with after season 1, where Jason (Ryan Kwanten) and Amy (Lizzie Caplan) laid around topless, devouring vials of V as if they were In-N-Out cheeseburgers.

NOW Sookie (Paquin) and newly reformed vampire Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) are living together, and swapping blood. What would the Department of Health And Human Services have to say about that? This show needs all sorts of disclaimers for people who are prone to become out of touch with reality.

Continue reading “Naked True Blood Recap (NSFW)”