HBO ‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: Season 5, Episode 1

Young-Cersei-Lannister

‘Game of Thrones‘ is officially underway, and as usual, showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss managed to make a lot happen in the latest 50 minute-long episode of the hit HBO series.

***Warning: spoilers ahead***

The season five premiere, titled “The Wars to Come,” opens with a glimpse of a young Cersei Lannister fearlessly convincing a friend to approach a witch’s hut with her. While Cersei doesn’t suffer the fate of fellow classic fantasy-characters Hansel and Gretel, it wouldn’t be a George R. R. Martin production without a little bloodshed and heartache.

“You’ll never wed the prince, you’ll wed the king,” the messy-haired sorceress tells Cersei after commanding her to prick her finger. “You’ll be queen, for a time,” she ominously continues. “In comes another, younger, more beautiful, to cast you down and take all you hold dear. The king will have twenty children, and you will have three. Gold will be their crowns, gold their shrouds.”

In one short scene, Cersei learns much of what we know about her adult life. From Margaery Tyrell‘s marriage to Tommen, to Robert Baratheon‘s bastard sons and her incestual relationship with Jaime Lannister.  Continue reading “HBO ‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: Season 5, Episode 1”

Ermahgerd I Need Somebody to Hibernate With Until ‘Game of Thrones’ Comes Back

With four major deaths and a fight scene just as epic as the Mountain/Viper showdown, the Game of Thrones finale was everything we hoped for except that it was only the 10th episode and that one guy who was evil but oddly likable totally croaked either by a crossbow bolt or a sword/falling down a hill.

But honestly, how on earth will you spend your Sunday nights now that Thrones is over??

I know I’ll be parading around pretending like this will be the finale that causes me to read all the Song of Ice and Fire books as soon as I have a free second. (Which is never, because I’m always busier scratching my nose until my brain leaks out.) Continue reading “Ermahgerd I Need Somebody to Hibernate With Until ‘Game of Thrones’ Comes Back”

Trailer: Game of Thrones Season 4: Vengeance

Another month passes that I continue to slack off and NOT catch up with the Song of Ice and Fire books in time for a new season. In the new trailer, Arya Stark is planning to roast Lannister body parts kebob-style, leaving all the ignant non-book smart folk wondering if the Khaleesi and her dragons will beat her to it.

Meanwhile, Joffrey’s marrying the ginger with the good boobs and Tyrion is living in fear of his own family, but the queen is PROBABLY too busy making kissy faces with her boyfriend-brother to kill him just yet.

Get your finger on the remote/torrent downloading button – Game of Thrones returns to HBO on April 6!