Ellie Goulding Rumored as X Factor UK Judge

Ellie Goulding Divergent premierePlease let it be true! Adorable British songstress Ellie Goulding might just be a judge on X Factor alongside Simon Cowell (returning to the original British version for the first time in three years) and Cheryl Cole (also after a lengthy absence).

Longtime third judge Louis Walsh told The Sun that he’s “heard” that Goulding is a contender, though other Sun sources remind us that Walsh is not at all involved in who ultimately snags the gig.

Goulding, who has been busy touring for Halcyon and its expansion, Halcyon Days, has become the go-to girl for recording new songs for big budget, teen box office favorites like Twilight (“Bittersweet”), The Hunger Games (“Mirror”), AND Divergent (“Beating Heart”).

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Boat Full of Diseased Rats Headed for the UK

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News of an abandoned cruise ship full of nothing but infected rats hit the web today.

After letting Bieber out of its sight, Canada is at strike two for doing nothing about the ghost ship full of hundreds of rats, who have “been eating each other to survive,” according to The Independent.

The diseased cannibal rats are currently sitting on a boat that was originally built in Yugoslavia in the mid-’70s for sightseeing cruises to remote, icy locations is now headed straight for the UK, you know, because Canadians are secretly cruel and want to remind England of all the sickly grey bodies that piled high in the streets during the rodent-spread plague of the 14th century.  Continue reading “Boat Full of Diseased Rats Headed for the UK”

Video: Nina Nesbitt – Selfies

I know I’ll come off as a total asshat saying this, but I’m not so shabby at predicting fame. Like Lana Del Rey long before SNL, Emma Stone in Superbad, Cee Lo’s “F*ck You,” Ellie Goulding, Adele…

If I was fond of leaving the house I would pursue a career as a talent scout. (But I’d probably end up handing out flyers at the mall, luring raccoon-eyed saps to my fraudulent modeling agency.)
nina nesbitt selfies still Speaking of modeling and people who should be famous, Nina Nesbitt is really great. She’s a legitimate songwriter from Scotland who had a pretty big hit in the UK called “Stay Out.”  Continue reading “Video: Nina Nesbitt – Selfies”

Hot Dogs + Pizza Hut = Bliss

I love writing about gross food. You’d think it would all be American like the KFC Double Down (chicken-on-chicken-on-bacon sandwich) or Sloppy Joe Sideshots but some of it is actually foreign.

Like pork and seaweed donuts at Asian Dunkin’ Donuts locations or the latest, hot-dog-stuffed pizza crust at Pizza Hut UK! There it is, amidst perfectly bland choices like Cheesy Bites, Hawaiian and Pepperoni. “Succulent hot dog sausage bursting from our famous stuffed crust.”  Continue reading “Hot Dogs + Pizza Hut = Bliss”

Boy Band Trademark War? A Dance-Off Will Solve It

If you happen to watch Saturday Night Live and don’t have DVR capabilities that allow fast-forwarding, the boy group One Direction graced your television last Saturday.

Their album Up All Night went to the top of the U.S. and UK iTunes charts. Their “story” is far more interesting. They are one of those cobbled-together groups. Like O-Town or other Making The Band Danity-Kane-concoctions.

Ninteen months ago One Direction members Liam, Zayn, Harry, Niall and Louis auditioned separately on the 7th season of British X-Factor guest (and one-time U.S. judge) Nicole Scherzinger suggested that the five compete as a unite.

Simon Cowell signed them to his label, thus the birth of “What Makes You Beautiful” and all that. The problem is, there’s already a band from America with the same name…

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Boy Bands Are Making A Comeback, Here’s Proof

There are currently not one but TWO UK boy bands with singles and albums climbing the chart ladders. The Wanted are one, with their massive hit “Glad You Came” (I can hear the immature laughter now, emitting from my apartment) which is number four on iTunes’ top songs.

The other band of grinning professionally-coiffed miscreants are One Direction aka 1D, which L.A. Times compares to The Jackson 5, ‘N Sync, NKOTB and the Osmonds. Jackon 5 comparisons seem like a reach and an insult to Michael, but that’s just me.

One Direction, who were put together by evil genius mastermind Simon Cowell in 2010 after every member appeared as a contestant on overseas X-Factor, are appearing on Saturday Night Live on April 7th with host Sofia Vergara.

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Worst Dressed Man Of 2011, Jared Leto Or Chris Brown?

 Thank you GQ UK! They say Chris Brown is the worst dressed man child in the whole world and I couldn’t agree more. For best dressed they list Tinie Tempah and a bunch of people I’ve heard of even less, besides Robert Pattinson.

It brings me great pleasure to present you with these lovely examples of Chris’s prowess as a style icon for people who shop exclusively at Foot Locker, Zumiez and the Liberace thrift store.  Continue reading “Worst Dressed Man Of 2011, Jared Leto Or Chris Brown?”

‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’ Was The Decade’s Most Played Song (In The UK)

The 2001 hit song “Can’t You Out Of My Head” by Aussie superstar Kylie Minogue had the most airplay in the 2000s, according to the UK’s Performing Right Society, who are responsible for collecting royalties for musicians.

Honestly, could a song with a more perfect title have been named the most played song? “Toxic” at number two seems just right but then three slightly odd tracks follow, Robbie Williams’ “Angels” Jamelia’s “Superstar” and Liberty X’s Just A Little.

Of course this doesn’t account for several important places people hear music besides the radio, including stores at the mall, sporting events and your friend’s house. The chart is also based on times performed, such as live covers.

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Michael Jackson Tribute Concert Concludes In Wales

Prince Jackson, Jamie Foxx and Ne-Yo

Yesterday marked the date of the long-awaited “Michael Forever” tribute concert which has been criticized for its terrible timing (amidst Conrad Murray trial) Janet Jackson voiced her concern and reason for not appearing:

“Because of the trial, the timing of this tribute to our brother would be too difficult for me…”

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Rihanna Is Wigwam BarbadoMonroe, For British Vogue

Who could be better to follow Adele’s October issue of British Vogue than Rihanna?

Not many, honestly – she is after all one of the top 20 current musical entertainers alongside Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears.

For the November issue of Vogue UK Rihanna goes blonde in photos taken by Alaisdair McLellan. (It’s a wig, I presume?)

Anyway, it’s not the most high-fashion thing you can imagine, but hey, it’s Rihanna.

She’s more famous for all her thigh-knocking, juicy juicy bleep bleep (a category I created with Rihanna in mind) umbrella-grasping goodness, eh…

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Scientists To Implement Artificial ‘Hose’ Volcano


In an effort to cool the climate, engineers and scientists in the U.K. will test the effects of an artificial volcano this October.

The test consists of pumping water into the atmosphere with a giant hose, as part of a larger scheme against global warming, to manipulate the earth’s environment.

The mock volcano is called “Stratospheric Particle Injection for Climate Engineering,” or S.P.I.C.E….

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Britney Spears “Criminal” Video Details

Okay by details I really just mean that it’s going to be filmed in England, since she’s already going to be there for the European leg of her tour.

But if you’ve heard Femme Fatale you’ve got to be wondering why “Criminal” is the next single? Seems like it would be a number of things, just not that.

“Trouble For Me,” “Up n’ Down,” or “Drop Dead Beautiful” seem like viable options. “Criminal” is just kind of a fun whistling romp of a renaissance fair.

Adele’s Chest Infection/Tour Cancellations

Due to a fairly severe but not life-threatening cold and chest infection, Adele has cancelled two tour dates in the UK. Shows today (September 4th) in Plymouth and tomorrow (September 5th) in Bournemouth.

Adele already canceled nine shows in North America due to a bout of laryngitis in June. Poor girl, I imagine that she is extremely exhausted from globally promoting her album 21 since the end of 2010…

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UK Woman’s Implant Explodes During Paintball

After a 26 year-old British woman’s implant burst during paintball, the company, UK Paintball, decided to quickly rewrite their policies. The front page of their website contains a humorous statement:

“Due to an incident at our Croydon Paintballing centre on Saturday 20 August 2011 we respectfully ask that any ladies with surgical breast implants notify our team at the time of booking. You will be given special information on the dangers of paintballing with enhanced boobs and asked to sign a disclaimer. You will also be issued with extra padding to protect your implants while paintballing. Thank you for your cooperation…”  Continue reading “UK Woman’s Implant Explodes During Paintball”

The Vaccines – What Did You Expect From The Vaccines? Album Review

Brand new onto the indie rock scene, The Vaccines, a four-piece hailing from London, debuted their very first album What Did You Expect From The Vaccines? on March 14th. A 33 minute long musical tapestry sure to land them on many prestigious top band lists of 2011. The Vaccines might be this year’s Phoenix, but they possess a less tightly wound style and it’s not hard to tell that their CD was recorded in only two weeks.

What Did You Expect From The Vaccines? Has a rough-around-the-edges punk quality, as if there was a large hole in the recording studio wall and a small fraction of the music drifted outside. Of course you can be sure this is not the case, sounds like this are largely intentional and wonderful.

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