Today, J.D. Salinger Would Have Been a Sex Offender

Jd salinger jean millerThe documentary Salinger on Netflix is very interesting, and not only because of the countless fans who would show up unannounced at J.D. Salinger’s house and leave notes asking for “some answer to something in their lives,” the journalist hired to sneak a photo of an aging, highly reclusive Salinger, or even John Lennon’s killer’s obsession with Catcher in the Rye that stuck me about the film. It was his repeated relationships with underage and much younger women, which are highlighted in detail for the duration of Salinger.

1. In 1941, at age 21, Salinger began dating 16-year-old Oona O’Neil, “debutante of the year” and daughter of Nobel prize-winning playwright Eugene O’Neill who was photographed by yesteryear’s paparazzi at clubs with a glass of milk because she wasn’t old enough to consume alcohol.

2. In May of 1946, not long after suffering a nervous breakdown during his time in WWII, Salinger met and married Sylvia Louise Welter, a member of the Nazi party. At 27, she was hardly underage, but this relationship is interesting not only because Salinger himself was Jewish but because it only lasted less than a month after they had returned to the States.

He didn’t try to kiss me or hug me or squeeze me or anything the way other people did. Maybe I was too old for him. I think he liked younger girls. I was only 7 years younger, I think maybe he preferred 12 years. Younger than that…

-Leila Hadley Luce, friend

3. At age 30, after his annulment to Sylvia Louise, Salinger began a platonic relationship with Jean Miller, then 14, who describes walking along the pier and sharing popcorn and ice cream with him. “I was fresh and new like a breath of spring,” she says.

4. Salinger met his second wife, Claire Douglas, when she was 19. They married when she was 21 and he was 36. The 15-year age difference wasn’t the problem, it was his refusal to attend to Claire or his children while writing Franny and Zooey in a shed on their property.

Thinking back on the guys who sat around the poker table, what distinguished Jerry out of that pack was that there was in him no doubt that he was going to be published, no doubt that he had an enormous talent, and no doubt that everybody else at the poker table was inferior to him.

-A.E. Hotchner, friend of both Ernest Hemingway and J.D. Salinger

5. In 1965, after Salinger, 54, published his very last story, he sent a letter to 18-year-old writer Joyce Maynard after she appeared on the cover of New York Times Magazine. They lived together shortly, but the relationship ended when Salinger told Maynard he was not interested in having any more children. She went on to write about her time with him, which of course made Salinger almost as irate as the time his editor put a comma in one of his short stories without his approval.

Read: Why Joyce Maynard Is Right About J.D. Salinger

 

 

 

Be Prepared To Shamefully Show Your ID When Buying Kombucha

Kombucha alcohol labelKombucha manufacturers were forced to pull their products from store shelves in 2010 after the government began investigating the alcohol content to see if it contained more than 0.5% and needed to be sold to over 21s.

Many speculated that Lindsay Lohan was to blame (isn’t she always) because she complained that the drink had set off her ankle monitor.

It’s all very sad and humorous because Kombucha is basically just liquified, non-hallucinogenic mushrooms. Most of the people who drink it (besides Lindsay and I) are certifiable hippies who collect feathers and skulls and won’t leave the house without a basket full of yarn and Tom’s of Maine products.  Continue reading “Be Prepared To Shamefully Show Your ID When Buying Kombucha”

Kevin Clash (Elmo) Resigns After New Allegations Surface

Voice of Elmo Kevin Clash resigned from Sesame Street duties on Tuesday after a second man came forward with a story about having a sexual relationship with Clash as a minor.

30-something Cecil Singleton (15 at the time), mentioned  “groping,” “masturbation,” and “dry-humping,” saying Clash has a habit of meeting underage boys in telephone chat rooms. This just after first accuser Sheldon Stephens said he originally retracted his story and accepted a $125,000 settlement because he felt “pressured.” Statement from Kevin via The Hollywood Reporter:  Continue reading “Kevin Clash (Elmo) Resigns After New Allegations Surface”

Sesame Street Tainted – Voice Of Elmo Accused Of Sex With 16-Year-Old Boy

I’ll so never look at that little red googly-eyed puppet the same way again…

Kevin Clash, the famous voice of Elmo and star of the documentary Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journeyis being accused of sleeping with an underage boy.

Clash has taken a leave of absence, admitting that there was a relationship but insisting that it didn’t begin until after the man (now 23) turned 18, and NOT when he was 45 and the victim was 16. Lawyers for Sesame Street believed there was not enough evidence to support the claims, which originally surfaced in June.

Continue reading “Sesame Street Tainted – Voice Of Elmo Accused Of Sex With 16-Year-Old Boy”

Minka Kelly May Or May Not Be Underage In New Sex Tape

Because of the release date of a Brandy album, people think The Roommate/Charlie’s Angels actress Minka Kelly is underage in a new 30-minute sex tape obtained by TMZ.

Kelly is seen singing and dancing in Mexico to two songs from the Brandy album Never Say Never, released June 8, 1998. That’s 16 days before she turned 18.

So, some people want to play detective Sherlock Horntoad because they’re afraid of being aroused by the yet-to-be-released video of a potential minor? I mean, people have been known to listen to CDs more than two weeks after they come out…

But, if she is underage, the sleazy ex-boyfriend who’s trying to shop this thing around will receive zero dollars and her reputation will remain relatively untarnished because the tape will never see the light of day.  Continue reading “Minka Kelly May Or May Not Be Underage In New Sex Tape”

Vogue Vows To Only Work With ‘Healthy’ Models

Editors of every global edition of Vogue, including American, French and Italian have agreed to hire models who are at least 16 years old and who do not appear anorexic in the new “Health Initiative.”

They pledge to promote realism and to not contribute to the growing, unrealistic body image issues of women. Jonathan Newhouse, chairman of the publishing company behind Vogue says:

Vogue believes that good health is beautiful, Vogue editors around the world want the magazines to reflect their commitment to the health of the models who appear on the pages and the wellbeing of their readers.”  Continue reading “Vogue Vows To Only Work With ‘Healthy’ Models”

Josh Hutcherson’s Troublesome Fake ID

Looks like somebody’s baby-faced grin is the opposite of beneficial in certain scenarios.

19 year-old Josh Hutcherson plays strong survivalist baker boy Peeta to Katniss’ (Jennifer Lawrence) bow-wielding huntress in The Hunger Games. Apparently being stealthy while buying a $170 dollar bottle of whiskey is a little tougher…

Hutcherson, who has been quoted as saying “I think the age to go to war is 18…so I think the drinking age should be 18 as well,” was spotted buying the alcohol on April 18, along with some bread, at a Ralph’s Grocery Store in Sherman Oaks.

Continue reading “Josh Hutcherson’s Troublesome Fake ID”

‘I Had Justin Bieber’s Baby’ Oh Wait, That’s Statutory Rape

Mariah Yeater, the 20 year-old woman who claims that Justin Bieber impregnated her backstage at the Staples Center after one of his concerts may have forgotten one key element to her story. Bieber was underage (16) at the time the supposed 30-second event occurred.

Yeater, 19, at the time, demands a paternity test and $12,000 a month in child support if JB is the proven baby daddy of her son, who was born in July. Check out the coconut huevos on this lady! Let’s summarize.

She’s demanding money from one of the youngest and most recognized pop singers of 2011, saying that she took his virginity at a concert and that he didn’t wear a condom because “he wanted to feel everything.”AND, she doesn’t give a crap that Justin was 16 at the time of the alleged sexual rendezvous!

In the words of Beavis And Butt-Head, THIS LADY RULES. One of her lawyers, Matthew Pare, says:

Continue reading “‘I Had Justin Bieber’s Baby’ Oh Wait, That’s Statutory Rape”