Kourtney Kardashian’s Baby Sleeps Too Much

Of course Kourtney Kardashian had to wait to decide which magazine to sell her baby to before letting the public see it. I mean, uh, to sell pictures of her baby. There are only really only two options, but it must have been a hard decision between Us Weekly‘s $1 million and People’s $999,999 thousand.

Anyway, baby Penelope Scotland Disick was born on July 8th. Exactly a month later, Wednesday August 8, marks the even more important day that she was seen by the world. Somebody tell her.

Looks like she’s fallen asleep during her big moment. If I didn’t know any better I’d have thought that Mason was the new baby.

I mean, I already felt bad for Kourtney because she’s married to a malnourished chipmunk in a suit. Now that I know that he refuses to change diapers after his wife gave birth to a 30 pound child, I feel even worse.

Snooki Is Pregnant And Engaged FOR SURE

The Chilean volcano is pregnant with a little Snookerita! Us Weekly has confirmed the story in their latest issue.

Twenty four year-old Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is around four months pregnant and engaged to the baby daddy, boyfriend of one and a half years, Jionni LaValle.

“I have different priorities now,” Snooki tells the mag,“I don’t care what anybody else thinks. As long as I know I’m ready and he’s ready.”

She found out right after New Years and admits to being concerned because she was pounding a giant wheelbarrow full of booze at the time. Her first thought:

“Shit, I’ve been drinking!’ I was worried. It was New Year’s Eve and we were in Vegas, so I did go crazy.”  Continue reading “Snooki Is Pregnant And Engaged FOR SURE”