Little Justin Bieber LOVED Using the N-Word

racist justin bieber video stillWe the blissfully ignorant public have recently learned that between at least the ages of 14 and 15, Justin Bieber had a VERY strong affinity for the n-word…

In two separate videos obtained by TMZ and The Sun, we see a young chuckling Biebs telling a black joke involving a chainsaw and singing the popular church hymn “One Less Lonely N*gger.”

Literally, if I could dip into Justin Bieber’s swear jar I COULD AFFORD TO HIRE AN ASSASSIN TO KILL JUSTIN BIEBER and still be richer than my friends.  Continue reading “Little Justin Bieber LOVED Using the N-Word”

Christina Turns Her Chair For Season 5 of ‘The Voice’

Christina Aguilera armsChristina Aguilera is bringing her particular brand of sass and insanity back to the fifth season of The Voice this September.

She just signed a $12.5 million contract to return to the red “I Want You” chair that Shakira’s been keeping warm for her.

I happened to see the studio where The Voice is filmed when I traveled via wheelbarrow to California. It’s an unremarkable black square with no windows in The Valley (where it’s already hotter than the toilets at the U.S. Championship Cheese Contest).

That’s why Christina’s always fanning her escape artist tatas and why Robin Thicke looked like melted Dippin’ Dots on last week’s episode.

Speaking of tatas, I really wish Shakira and Christina could be on the show at the same time. Usher can dance off the edge of the earth that he probably believes is flat for all I care.  Continue reading “Christina Turns Her Chair For Season 5 of ‘The Voice’”

This is Usher, Skydiving Over Dubai

Usher skydiveSecond heir to Michael Jackson’s throne (after Timberlake and before Mars) Usher took his cute butt up in a plane over Dubai’s Palm Islands for the weekend.

As you can see, his climax face is on full display as he drops out of a plane from 30,000 feet.

I will never go skydiving because I know I wouldn’t jump unless someone pushed me or threw candy out of the plane and no one I know carries gummy worms around in their pockets or is fond enough of heights.

Enjoying Usher’s adventures (and the skydiving sex couple‘s) from afar is as comfortably close as I get to strapping a fool on my back while the wind strips my hair follicles.  Continue reading “This is Usher, Skydiving Over Dubai”

Billie Joe Armstrong Smashes Guitar, Says “Fuck” At Least Ten Times, Then Checks Into Rehab

Billie Joe Armstong is SO punk. If your definition of “punk” is similar to Avril Lavigne’s. You know, smashing guitars, dissing fellow pop stars, and expressing yourself with your middle finger and the word “fuck,” just in case the audience is deaf.

Late Friday night an especially enraged Billie Joe performed at the iHeartRadio Festival in Vegas. Usher’s set ended up running long, causing Green Day‘s to be cut short.

“You’re gonna give me one minute?! Let me tell you something, I’ve been around since fucking nineteen eighty fucking eight, and you’re gonna give me one minute?! You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” he yelled after being told to wrap it up.  Continue reading “Billie Joe Armstrong Smashes Guitar, Says “Fuck” At Least Ten Times, Then Checks Into Rehab”

Shakira And Usher Replace Christina Aguilera And Cee Lo For Season Four Of ‘The Voice’

Did you hear that? It’s the sound of me crapping my she-wolf pants. Shakira is temporarily replacing Christina Aguilera as a judge on next season of The Voice, with Usher sitting in Cee Lo’s seat.

HOWEVER, Aguilera and Cee Lo will return for season five (Blake and Adam are staying), as they are simply on a hiatus to work on new music.  Continue reading “Shakira And Usher Replace Christina Aguilera And Cee Lo For Season Four Of ‘The Voice’”

Celebrity Mohawks, 2011-2012 Edition

Sean Paul, Usher and Glee's Mark Salling

One mohawk runs its course and several others spring up, resilient as ever. It’s a bold move, one Josh Duhamel was just seen sporting. Coincidentally Fergie (Duhamel’s wifey) bandmate Will.i.am no longer has one.

I like mohawks and faux hawks and all that nonsense. Even if they look AWFUL, it’s the kind of thing you have to look at as a failed performance art attempt.  Continue reading “Celebrity Mohawks, 2011-2012 Edition”

Video: Usher – “Climax”

I gotta say, when Usher hits a high note he hits it good. Note the “Run Away” and “Separate” lines. Everybody still loves Raymond and this Timbererlakian track produced by frequent Santigold collaborator, Diplo, is no exception.

I can’t say this is the “climax” of Usher’s career since many lost respect for him as soon as he became Justin Bieber’s mentor, but it’s a decent song and he looks as youthful as he did in 2001’s “U Got It Bad” but with some scruff, and a gun.

Lady Gaga Dazzles Bill Clinton, Usher Shows Some Leg

To celebrate the 10th anniversary of The Clinton Foundation (“A Decade of Difference”) and Bill’s own 65th birthday, Lady Gaga performed You and I, Edge Of GloryBad Romance (dubbed “Bill Romance”) Born This Way and Government Hooker, in L.A…

Continue reading “Lady Gaga Dazzles Bill Clinton, Usher Shows Some Leg”