God Help Us: Miley’s New Album ‘Sounds Like Her Personality’

Miley Cyrus V Magazine underwearSomebody’s been rummaging through Justin Bieber’s underwear drawer. Miley Cyrus dropped trou for V Magazine and talked about her new album and the rumors about her and Liam.

So much for her “A star is someone who doesn’t have to take her clothes off to be sexy” quote in Elle UK. V plays up the whole “she’s a new person because she cut her hair” thing, but I’m not buying it.

She looks like a new person, but she’ll always be Hannah Montana and the girl who ear-raped me with “Party in the U.S.A.” Speaking of that song, Miley still loves it, saying she’d never “take it back” because that would be like Billy Ray “saying that he hated ‘Achy Breaky.'”
Miley V magazine cover 2013Miley Cyrus V magazine cover 2013 Continue reading “God Help Us: Miley’s New Album ‘Sounds Like Her Personality’”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [11-09-12]

Rihanna and Kate Moss snuggle in next to nothing for V Magazine. (Pop Dust)

You definitely want Brad Pitt at the zombie apocalypse. (ohmyGAHH!)

“Breast Milk Baby” is a real thing and they call it “educational.” (Examiner)

Cheapest Rolling Stones tickets = $114, most expensive = $3,453. (Spin)

Don Lemon (CNN) thinks Jonah Hill is a rude SOB. (ONTD!)

Modern Family’s Ariel Winter, 14, might have an 18-year-old boyfriend. (Celebuzz)

Russell Brand makes feline video for Ellen featuring Morrissey, sort of. (Evil Beet)

Scarlett Johansson’s Street Cred = Zero Point Zero

Scarlett Johansson is either a really big fan of Lucky Brand Jeans, or doesn’t see the similarities between their signature “Lucky You” fly message (as in, you’re so lucky to be taking my pants off right now) and her new tattoo.

This you’re-so-lucky-to have-taken-off-my-shirt variation was given to ScarJo in France by some guy named Fuzi. It’s her third tattoo and second this year after the “I Heart NY” thing on her wrist.

The sun also rises, on her arm. Here’s a quote from her, in reference to filming a shower scene for Hitchcock:  Continue reading “Scarlett Johansson’s Street Cred = Zero Point Zero”

V Magazine’s Nicole Kidman Looks Nothing Like Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman appears on V Magazine’s September travel issue promoting her new movie. A blonde, extra cougar-y Kidman tells V, “I don’t really make decisions, I go with the flow.”

Interesting quote, from the woman who pees on Zac Efron after he gets stung by a jellyfish in The Paperboy. She explains:

“For me, it said so much about Charlotte. One, she’s protecting him. Two, she’s tough as nails and no one else is going to pee on this guy. All of that made total sense to me.”

She also defends director Lars Von Trier’s famous nazi comments at Cannes. “I like Lars. I think he has made some terrible, terrible statements and mistakes, but I don’t think he really meant what he said. If he did, then I would not be friends with him. You know, he does strange stuff.”  Continue reading “V Magazine’s Nicole Kidman Looks Nothing Like Nicole Kidman”

Lady Gaga Is Judging Your Fingernails, Thinks Manicures Will Put ‘A Penis In Your Hand’

Lady Gaga has been using V Magazine as a slightly under the radar (for her) outlet for creativity since summer of 2011. Over the months she’s vaguely discussed science vs. religion, critics, and of course, shared her long-winded thoughts on fashion.

The latest column, Gaga Memo No. 7, has mother monster telling us why it is our task as women to have beautifully manicured fingernails.

Her “reasons” might, as a gender, set us back about 92 years and make you feel exponentially lazy or masculine. It’s definitely going to be one of the two. Key line: “any woman—no matter how stylishly she is dressed—is instantly above the rest if well-manicured.”

Continue reading “Lady Gaga Is Judging Your Fingernails, Thinks Manicures Will Put ‘A Penis In Your Hand’”

J-Lo Grabs Herself And Revisits ‘Enough’

Jennifer Lopez played an abused wife who learned to hit back in the 2002 film, Enough, and now, she’s taken that a step further in a new spread for V Magazine.

And by spread, I mean she has a penis, or a bulge caused by an improperly designed Cleto Reyes groin and abdominal protector.

Enlarged clitoris or not, this shoot brings back memories of a better time, when she still had baby fat and side bangs and the biggest butt in town.

Now she’s a three-time divorcee, on American Idol and Q’Viva with Marc Anthony plus dancing on Fiats with her legs in the air.

I’m starting a bring-andro-J-Lo-back petition. Maybe there’s hope hidden in these photos?  Continue reading “J-Lo Grabs Herself And Revisits ‘Enough’”

Shirley Manson Shows Off Her Stylish Mind

I never thought I’d be posting pictures of my favorite female rock icon looking like a pasty, lace-covered Joan Pringle on my own personal gossip website, but here I am, and there she is.

“DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK, SHIRLEY MANSON IS A CLASSIC” is a tagline more to my liking than the usual “Garbage is still around?” Or “yeah I had their record when I was 15 and depressed. It was pretty good.”

2005’s Bleed Like Me was the last Garbage album but a fresh one is finally coming this year in the springtime. To me, she is ready to continue her reign, not resume it. In the latest issue of V Magazine she discusses music, her childhood and of course her own views on fashion.

Continue reading “Shirley Manson Shows Off Her Stylish Mind”