22 Firefighters Deliver Tourist From Vagina Statue

german vagina statue It took a multitude of completely unamused German firefighters to deliver one teen exchange student from a vagina-shaped sculpture after his friends urged him to climb inside for a photo-op.

No medical attention was needed, as there is no definitive cure for embarrassment. Seriously, this kid is going to be known as “vagina boy” until the end of time.

Girls he dates are going to think he’s one of them, and even after he’s adopted a new identity and is peering over a newspaper in Groucho glasses like someone from a 1950s spy movie, passersby are going to do a double take, pull up this photo from Imgur and chase him down the street yelling “It’s totally you!!!”

Why Do People Put Things There?: A Question Not Even ‘Sex Sent Me to the E.R.’ Can Answer

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Kinky role-playing ends up in the emergency room. There is a television show on TLC called “Sex Sent Me to the E.R.” This episode stuck in my mind because of the previous post from a book titled “Stuck up.” Stories like these make me wonder why people feel the need to put very odd things in places they don’t belong.

A Canadian couple by the name of Jason and Michelle decides to role play. She a princess and he was a fire breathing dragon. Handcuffs were involved in this role playing (I am unsure why a dragon would handcuff a princess), and the keys ended up in her vagina (like you didn’t see that coming). This event ended with them in the emergency room, and MORE bad news.

At first the couple pretended not to know what was wrong hoping the doctor would find through an exam. Whenever something bad happens to me that I’m embarrassed about, I think “it can be worse.”  Continue reading “Why Do People Put Things There?: A Question Not Even ‘Sex Sent Me to the E.R.’ Can Answer”

Canadian Mayor Says He Has ‘More Than Enough’ P*ssy to Eat at Home

Rob Ford mayor wifeMarried trainwreck mayor of Toronto Rob Ford stood in front of a room full of press yesterday to deny a whole mess of things, including telling one of his staff members that he wanted to eat her out.

Ford, a notorious partier and admitted crack user said, “I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much.”

This kind of thing would never fly in America, but if I had to compare his attitude to two people I’d go with Rex Ryan and Vladimir Putin. Amount of f*cks given: 0.0.

Justin Bieber’s New Hair Made Him Grow Ovaries, Boobies and a Lemon Fresh Vagina

Justin bieber side shaveThe Sun and Mirror Online called Justin Bieber‘s new side-shave haircut “girly,” “dodgy” and “weird” in their headlines.

The nickname “Justin Bieb-Her” and Rihanna and Miley Cyrus copycat comments even inspired Inquisitr to write a 600 word editorial on why it’s not okay to call him a puny lesbian. (I’m sure Justin appreciated the comparisons to The Beatles and Nirvana).

I was going to say the hair (more of a lack of gel than an actual cut?) reminded me of Martin Gore, Vanilla Ice, or that guy from Diamond Rings, but that’s insulting to all of them.

Justin, you’ve always been a girl to me. A really irritating, overly manicured, ill-tempered bitch of a girl with 16 million fake Twitter followers. Puke.

Wladimir Klitschko is Murdering Hayden Panettiere’s Vagina Again

Hayden P boxer boyfriend When considering going through with vagina murder, you don’t book a meeting with an all talk, no-action noob like Amanda Bynes. You want Hayden Panettiere, because she’s a goddamn expert on getting her vagina murdered daily.

On Sunday, 5’2″ Panettiere was spotted at a Miami Heat game making out with her 6’6″ ex-boyfriend, Ukrainian boxer Wladimir Klitschko. To recap, they broke up in 2011 after two years. He said managing a relationship “between two continents” was too difficult.

In actuality, it was because a reverse penis pump had yet to be invented. I mean, can you imagine sex between these two? It’s soul crushing.  Continue reading “Wladimir Klitschko is Murdering Hayden Panettiere’s Vagina Again”

If Drake Was a Horror Movie Villain and Amanda Bynes’ Vagina Was the Heroine’s Friend…

Amanda Bynes drake I was thinking about what Amanda Bynes said about Drake. (You know, that she wants him to “murder” her vagina.) And I wondered how the murder would occur. I figured the best scenario would be if her vag was the best friend of a horror movie heroine like Laurie Strode in Halloween.

Would he approach it slowly, from behind a tree, or stab it in the shower Norman Bates-style? Does he have a teasing, save-it-for-later mentality, like Leatherface when he put Pam on the meat hook and threw her in a freezer?

None of the above. Because if anyone’s the aggressor it’s her. Picture her ladybits crawling out of a television or asking him if he “wants to play a game.”

Continue reading “If Drake Was a Horror Movie Villain and Amanda Bynes’ Vagina Was the Heroine’s Friend…”

Censored Anne Hathaway Vag Images More Miserables Than Les Originales

Anne Hathaway censored vagAs we’ve learned from Jimmy Kimmel’s This Week in Unnecessary Censorship segment, some things look or sound worse when blurred or bleeped out. Anne Hathaway‘s bearded clam at the New York premiere of Les Miz is one of them.

The pixels turn her Princess Diary into a curvy Prince dong (view original HERE).

Hathaway spent more time flip-flopping between laughing it off and crying in interviews than talking about what everyone actually wanted to know (what her screen matrons, Meryl Streep and Julie Andrews, would think).

“I think what I am going to do is whatever my next appearance is … I’m going to step out of the car in a blanket. You’ve got to laugh at it,” she told Four Seasons luncheon guests. Later, she used “devastating” “vulnerable” and “unfortunate” to describe vagpocalypse 2012.

J.K. Rowling Ditches Wands For Cleavage In ‘The Casual Vacancy’

Back in April, it was announced that Harry Potter darling J.K. Rowling would put hand to computer for a book directed at a more adult audience.

In just a day, Rowling’s first book since the series that sold over 450 million copies and made her the most famous living author in the world comes out.

It’s called The Casual Vacancy and it’s “a comic tragedy,” five hundred and twelve pages long, and about some sort of rivalry. Most importantly, it contains multiple laughable references to genitalia.

Here are three excerpts to blush and cackle over:

“That miraculously unguarded vagina.”

“The leathery skin of her upper cleavage radiated little cracks that no longer vanished when decompressed.”

” …With an ache in his heart and in his balls.”  Continue reading “J.K. Rowling Ditches Wands For Cleavage In ‘The Casual Vacancy’”

Hey Lana Del Rey, Don’t Forget That ‘Heart-Shaped Box’ Is About Courtney Love’s Vagina

Courtney Love wants Lana Del Rey to stop singing about her vagina. And that’s exactly what Courtney thinks Lana was doing when she covered Nirvana’s “Heart Shaped Box” at a concert in Sydney last Friday night.

Love, who is famous for her Twitter rants, took to the popular social media platform to tell Lana what’s up (the purpose of these Tweets are still not known to me or anyone else).

“You do know the song is about my Vagina right? ‘Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back umm… On top of which some of the lyrics about my vagina, I contributed.”  Continue reading “Hey Lana Del Rey, Don’t Forget That ‘Heart-Shaped Box’ Is About Courtney Love’s Vagina”

Creepy Lady Gaga Snuff Pictures (NSFW)

I mentioned previously in my Lady Gaga Is A Man (For Her “You & I” Single) article that matron monster had been in Japanese Vogue in 2009 where she debuted her male Pacino alter Jo Calderone…

Well now some very interesting outtakes from the photo shoot are being released.

And when you look at them, don’t worry, I also felt like I was being shown police evidence photos that once fell out of a sex offender’s “secret” album…

Ever hear that song, “Teenage Enema Nurses In Bondage?” Well, this is more “Legal Lady G In A Hogtie.”

So, yes, no more delaying, here are some graphic pictures of Lady Gaga, there’s a shot of her balls, or proof of ball absence I guess, and also some Bisquick boobs…

Continue reading “Creepy Lady Gaga Snuff Pictures (NSFW)”