Of Course Chris Brown Attacked A Woman In Vegas

chris brown lizianeHere’s what I know about the Chris Brown Vegas assault charges… A star-fucking groupie said Brown punched her in the melon during a concert. Brown called the star-fucking groupie “dusty” and said “I don’t know this old-looking bitch.”

Did he actually attack ye old bitchLiziane Gutierrez? Yes, totally.

There isn’t a single woman Chris Brown comes into contact with that doesn’t get hit. Sometimes it’s figurative, but it happens. Do I have love for star fuckers? No, but I have a lot less love for the man who made Rihanna look like a chump. It’s his fault ‘Anti’ still hasn’t been released AND that it’s cold in winter and that I’m broke, and also, he killed Natalie Cole, but not a lot of people know that, so shhh.  Continue reading “Of Course Chris Brown Attacked A Woman In Vegas”

Nobody Smiles More Than Nicole Richie Being Walked Like a Dog by Britney Spears

Nicole Richie leash Britney spearsTwo of my great guilty pleasure loves are Britney Spears and also The Simple Life, specifically Nicole Richie because she was kind of a looney tune, but a conscious looney tune who didn’t give a crap about anything but getting high and saying made-up words in a chipmunk voice.

Britney Spears is my favorite because every song she makes sounds like porn.

Die-hard-fan-since-age-15 Richie recently visited The Tonight Show to talk about the she went to Vegas to see Britney and her dancers put a harness on her, brought her on stage and handed her leash to Britney, who proceeded to walk her like a dog and how it was the best moment of her life, better even than her wedding to that guy with a fedora glued to his head. 

Read: Crosby, Stills, Nash, and ‘Young’ Cover Iggy Azalea’s ‘Fancy’ on ‘Jimmy Fallon’

Coco Sort of Stepped Out on Ice-T, Ice Responds by Being Sort of Angry on Twitter

Coco AP 9Ice-T and wife of 12 years Assy McGee took a break from arguing about whose turn it is to wipe English Bulldog turds off the floor and got into a real fight on Twitter over the weekend.

The dispute began when photos of Coco (Assy) exchanging suckerfish cheek kisses (and almost motorboating) with non-famous rapper AP 9 in Vegas surfaced.

Upon seeing the images, which originated on Media Take Out, Ice wrote that Coco had explained her side of it and that he wasn’t happy and still felt “like shit.”

Then Coco was like, ‘nothing happened’ blah blah ‘I’m so sorry,’ and now I assume they are getting along. Read the full exchange HERE.

Paris Hilton’s New Boyfriend Is As Crazy As Her Other Boyfriends

If I told you that Paris Hilton making out with a girl in a club caused her new boyfriend to get arrested for starting a fight would you be surprised in any way?

Good, me neither.

A man told police that he was in the XS nightclub in the Encore hotel in Vegas when Paris started making out with his girlfriend…

Then, Paris’ new Spanish model boyfriend/fictional Street Fighter character River Viiperi attacked the random clubgoer guy with the bi curious girlfriend.

TMZ reports that Viiperi injured him “so badly” that he “needed medical attention” at around 2:30 Monday morning and that Viiperi was cited for misdemeanor battery without going to the police station.  Continue reading “Paris Hilton’s New Boyfriend Is As Crazy As Her Other Boyfriends”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [9-4-12]

Michael Phelps’ Vegas retirement party looks like fun and/or mayhem. (Celebuzz)

The second Hobbit film is called “The Desolation of Smaug.” (G4)

Hank Williams Jr.’s calls Obama out for hating “cowgirls” in latest rant. (TruthDig)

Learn to use condoms while you’re waiting for your plane to take off. (Gawker)

Nude landform in England is world’s largest. (Yahoo!)

Vote for Betty White to open at Democratic National Convention! (EW)

Stevie Wonder didn’t mean those things he said about Frank Ocean. (Idolator)

Arrested Development creator hints at new Freaks And Geeks seasons. (UPROXX)

Christina Aguilera loves showing her cleavage and having a big ass. (The Hollywood Gossip)

Prince Harry Is Naked

You’ve heard about Prince Harry’s drunken pool race with Ryan Lochte in Las Vegas, but have you seen what he was hiding under his swim trunks?

New photos released on Tuesday by TMZ almost reveal England’s crimson hope diamond.

Things got a little crazy when the Prince of Wales invited a group of women to play strip billiards in his suite.

Looks like he lost at the game AND at not making everyone put their camera phones in a basket upon entry.

A rep for his family says, 

“We have no comment to make on the photos at this time.”  Continue reading “Prince Harry Is Naked”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [8-18-12]

Ryan Lochte in a speedo. What happens in Vegas lives on forever in photography. (Las Vegas Sun)

And here’s half-naked Ryan (again) peeing on Joan Rivers. (E! Online)

Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy, also in swimwear. (Radar)

Here’s why children shouldn’t play baseball. (Yahoo!)

Lady Gaga is doing better. Says past year was “a challenge.” (NME)

Guess whose girlfriend likes attention? Michael Phelps‘ obviously. (Daily Mail)

Kanye’s dancers almost crash a plane. (Stereogum)

Speaking of attention, Kim Kardashian has new Playboy outtakes to show you. (Celebuzz)

Coach Brett Favre is a winner. (USA Today)

Elton John shows Michael Caine his Mars Rover, proves other planets are surrounded by water. (Mirror)

 

Joey Lawrence Is The Latest Chippendales Employee

Nineties teen idol (Blossom) Joey Lawrence is going to be a stripper at Chippendales in Vegas. TMZ reports that he will “sing, dance … the ‘whole nine yards.'”

I don’t think I’m alone when I say that Joey Lawrence isn’t on my radar. Even as a big fan of shows that are no longer televised that I normally would not have seen due to my age.

Not that I’m young anymore, but I’m not “old” either. I’m more familiar with Scott Baio and Corey Feldman types. I’ve watched Charles In Charge, and you’d have to be pulseless to not have witnessed The Goonies or The Lost Boys.

Anyone excited to see (or imagine) him stripping? He’s does look like a waxwork stripper, and also a criminal facial composite sketch that magically came to life.

Sinead O’Connor Opens Up About Post-Wedding Crack Run

So, originally Sinead O’Connor said that her 16 day marriage ended because of her husband’s disapproving friends and family and because she took him on a slight wild goose chase looking for marijuana, which she said “enormously wounded” and “badly affected” him.

Yesterday she told The Sun that it was also crack cocaine that had a major part in her separation from Barry Herridge,

“We ended up in a cab in some place that was quite dangerous. I wasn’t scared – but he’s a drugs counselor. What was I thinking?” 

“Then I was handed a load of crack. Barry was very frightened – that kind of messed everything up a bit really.”

Really, Sinead? Your drug counselor husband who you hardly know and literally married minutes earlier was put off when you ended up with a bag of crack rocks in your hand? The nerve! Usually when you hear of a completely unknown person hooking up with a celeb your gold digger alert goes off. If he was digging for gold, which I doubt, then he found John Carpenter’s The Thing, Ridley Scott’s Alien and Tobe Hooper’s Leatherface instead…

Continue reading “Sinead O’Connor Opens Up About Post-Wedding Crack Run”

Sinead O’Connor Got Married For The Fourth Time

Sinead O’Connor is absolutely insane, and sort of the last person I expected to be an attention-seeking hooker. I mean, burning a picture of the pope is one thing, blogging about fellatio and getting married more than three times, that’s a whole other ballpark. Non-literal balls.

The man in question, whom O’Connor married in Vegas on her 45th birthday, is 38 year-old Barry Herridge. Connor met Herridge, an addiction counselor, online a mere three months ago.

Continue reading “Sinead O’Connor Got Married For The Fourth Time”