This Year’s VMAs are Cursed

scary britney spearsThe 2014 VMAs haven’t even begun and they’re already more interesting than they’ve been in a long long time…

So far, Suge Knight was shot, Nicki Minaj’s dancer was bit by a snake during rehearsals, Iggy Azalea fell backwards off the stage AAAND this year’s show is officially cursed.

Knight is currently in intensive care recovering from stomach and arm injuries caused by gunfire at Chris Brown’s pre-party, Iggy Azalea and Nicki Minaj’s dancer – who was attacked by a boa constrictor during a run-through of “Anaconda” – appear to be fine.Individually, we could assume that Tupac cursed Suge Knight from the grave for being involved in his murder and Nicki had bad karma after cursing Iggy Azalea for stealing her thunder, OR we could apply actual logic and say that Suge is a known gangster and Iggy’s ass and gravity are as deadly a combination as wild animals and human dancers.

All I have to say is, this is what happens when you don’t invite Britney Spears.

Justin Timberlake Cut N*SYNC VMA Reunion Show, Wanted to Focus More on Himself

'N sync vmasHere’s a funny one – Justin Timberlake commissioned a reunion show with N*SYNC…and then cut half of it.

JT reportedly reached out to the former band members and convinced them to do a reunion show at the VMAs on Sunday, as he would be accepting the Michael Jackson Vanguard Award and had a 15-minute performance time to work with.

Rumors began swirling last week that the band had something in the works, putting dangerous amounts of stress on 20-something-year-old girls across the country.

But when the band did their thing, the performance was met with a ton of disappointment. Probably because the band only performed one song. The set was originally intended to feature a full medley of N*SYNC hits, but JT reportedly kept cutting it back more and more, reducing it to the 2-minute quickie we saw on Sunday.  Continue reading “Justin Timberlake Cut N*SYNC VMA Reunion Show, Wanted to Focus More on Himself”

Miley Cyrus Horrified at the VMAs Last Night

Miley Cyrus Beetlejuice Everyone’s talking about Miley Cyrus’ “shocking” performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. Honestly the most horrible thing about it besides her looking like one of those street kids from the 90s who either sucks dicks for five cents or looks like they do as a fashion statement, was the fact that Robin Thicke agreed to let her sing part of his sexy summer anthem “Blurred Lines.”

She really can’t sing at all. She’s basically just a back alley doll that bends over and jiggles when you pull a string in her back.

Oh heyyyy. This one thing is sexual, I better do it so people will pay attention to me. Look at my edgy hair. I’m the next Gwen Stefani! Wooooo, look at me go.

NO. The only good that came out of that performance besides the Vanessa Bayer intro is this photoshop masterpiece of Robin as Beetlejuice getting his dick ground off by her thin white tailbone.  Continue reading “Miley Cyrus Horrified at the VMAs Last Night”

Rihanna Sings Song About Chris Brown To Room Full Of… Chris Brown, At 2012 VMAs [UPDATE]

I’m watching the VMAs right now and as usual, I’ve been tricked into it.

Tricked by my own memories, memories of Rage Against The Machine, Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, and slave Britney Spears with a snake, (hell I’d take post-bald Britney huffing around to “Gimme More”).

This time, Kevin Hart hosts. He’s like tiny Chris Rock, without the humor. Lackluster Hart came out surrounded by midget bodyguards, then rhymed his way through some Laffy Taffy jokes, spending more time congratulating people than insulting them.  Continue reading “Rihanna Sings Song About Chris Brown To Room Full Of… Chris Brown, At 2012 VMAs [UPDATE]”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [9-6-12]

Rihanna’s groped at VMAs, debuts new Winona Ryder ‘do. (Necole Bitchy)

Another Kristen Stewart interview from before the scandal. (ONTD!)

Demi Lovato “relieved” to hear bipolar disorder diagnosis. (MTV)

Country star Kellie Pickler shaves head to support friend with breast cancer (EW)

Lupe Fiasco may be quitting rap for literature. (Huffington Post)

The CW to develop Wonder Woman television series called “Amazon.” (Vulture)

Katy Perry’s little brother David is a wannabe pop star, here’s his song. (Spin)

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton smiles while watching husband Bill’s  speech (Gawker)

Demi Lovato Is Not Fat, Idiots

I barely know who Demi Lovato is. I know she’s a Disney starlet type, like Miley Cyrus or Selena Gomez? She is an ex-girlfriend of Joe Jonas, along with Taylor Swift and Camilla Belle.

I don’t know a single one of her songs but she kind of reminds me of a younger version of that ex-American Idol judge, umm Kara DioGuardi?

What I do know is that this girl is not fat or large or remotely overweight. On Sunday, Demi, 19, came under fire for apparent weight gain during and after her appearance (left) at the VMAs.

This is particularly disturbing considering she was in a treatment facility for bulimia and self-injury in October 2010 and was released in January of this year.
Continue reading “Demi Lovato Is Not Fat, Idiots”

Chris Brown BUTCHERS Nirvana

Soooo, Chris brown came out at the VMAs to dance along to a bunch of songs. He did not sing at all, though he pretended too, barely. Even if he had sung it wouldn’t have mattered because it was complete techno auto-tune bullshit.

THEN he proceeded to dance his way through a variety of songs, including Wu-Tang Clan and Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

Nothing in the history of the VMAs has embarrassed me more. Not Britney Spears’ sad slow-roasting sausage dance to “Gimme More” in 2007. NOT Coldplay, not the Michael Jackson tribute, which could have been much more elaborate…

Continue reading “Chris Brown BUTCHERS Nirvana”

VMA Nominees/Predictions

This year the VMAs have no host (for the third time) which is a horrible idea, but at least Britney Spears, Adele, and Lady Gaga will be there. (And Kanye West & Jay-Z doing something from Watch The Throne)

Here are my VMA predictions, even though I procrastinated and it’s the actual day of the VMAs. I hope I can guess at least two of the category winners. Oh and I left out the Editing, Direction, Special Effects, Cinematography and Choreography sections, so go look somewhere else for those snooze-inducers…

Continue reading “VMA Nominees/Predictions”

It’s Britney, Bitch!! (Video Nostalgia)

Because I’m thrilled about the Britney VMA tribute tomorrow, here are a bunch of videos of random Britney Spears moments… From Singing with Michael Jackson to The Madonna kiss to the strip tease to Pepsi ads to the snake slave dance to Glee’s Heather Morris to the “Circus” video!

(Britney Spears performing “The Way You Make Me Feel” with Michael Jackson, at Madison Square Garden)

(The famous Madonna/Britney kiss. Christina Aguilera and Missy Elliot were there too I think. Check out Avril Lavigne’s reaction! And Eminem, Beyonce, the Queer Eye guys, 50 Cent and Justin Timberlake. Priceless)

Continue reading “It’s Britney, Bitch!! (Video Nostalgia)”

Get Psyched For The All-Star Britney Spears VMA Tribute!!

We heard a bit ago that VMA favorite of the past, Britney Spears, is getting her own tribute at the VMAs… Now I’m almost 100% sure that Madonna Katy, Perry, Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Nicki Minaj, Demi Lovato and Janet Jackson will be involved.

It’s even rumored that Lady Gaga might sing “Circus?” Though that sounds pretty falsified to me.

Not to mention, Britney may perform snippets of two of her songs or more, I’m hoping.

Where on earth is Rihanna while all this is happening? I thought for sure after she did that wonderful remix of “S&M” with Britney that she’d want to get on this.

Continue reading “Get Psyched For The All-Star Britney Spears VMA Tribute!!”