Video: MJ’s “Thriller” in 20 Different Styles

Anthony Vincent of the Ten Second Songs is back singing Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” in various spooky styles like Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Jack Skellington and The Spice Girls. He’s vocally versatile to the point of making me want to ritualistically murder him and eat his flesh in hopes of becoming just as disgustingly talented.

Just in time for Halloween, the holiday where you become a slut to get attention and I become one to get free candy.  Continue reading “Video: MJ’s “Thriller” in 20 Different Styles”

Mila Kunis Wants Expectant Fathers to Shut Up About Being ‘Pregnant’

A very pregnant, very angry Mila Kunis has an important message for all men [besides that one pregnant man]: unless you’re a seahorse, don’t pat your baby mama’s stomach and say “We’re pregnant!” with a big stupid grin on your face.

Soon, Kunis and the eight ice cream-holding women who joined her will be delivering more than just a touching monologue about the difficulties of men taking credit for nothing…
   
Something watermelon-sized that kicks and screams and projectile craps in your eye.

“When you wake up and throw up is it because you’re nurturing a human life? No. It’s because you had too many shots of tequila. Do you know how many shots of tequila we had?? None. Because we can’t have shots of tequila! We can’t have anything.”

Read: Mila on Pregnancy Cravings: Ashton ‘Stocked Our Fridge With Weird Food’

Sofia Vergara, Emma Stone, Jeremy Piven Read Mean Tweets

Julia Roberts mean tweetIn Jimmy Kimmal’s latest edition of celebs reading outrageous tweets about themsevles, Courtney Cox gets called a “p*ssy hoe” while Kit Harrington is a “big bitch” and Julia Roberts simply has gaping lips that swallow 10,000-pound African land mammals whole.

Users also wonder why Sofia Vergara talks “like she has a d*ck in her mouth” and say they hope Jeremy Piven’s falls off in public, so I was thinking to save time his d*ck could fall off and land in Sofia Vergara’s mouth during the day on the Hollywood Walk of Fame while Emma Stone, who reeks of cat piss, videotapes it and Gary Oldman narrates.  Continue reading “Sofia Vergara, Emma Stone, Jeremy Piven Read Mean Tweets”

Video: The Pretty Reckless – “Heaven Knows”

Interesting things are happening in pop music… Things that have nothing to do with Lady Gaga! Lily Allen wrote an entire song about it, but if you’re looking for the antithesis of Lorde, it’s Taylor Momsen.

She’s an entire year younger than Miley Cyrus, dirtier than Ke$ha and applies eyeliner with a paint roller. I feel the same way about her that some women do about sweaty James Franco selfies. It’s harder to admit that you sometimes find this person attractive than it is to masturbate to American Horror Story: Asylum.
   
This video for “Heaven Knows” is a few months old, but attention-grabbing. I mean, one second she’s harmonizing with a bunch of children and the next she’s ripping her clothes off…  Continue reading “Video: The Pretty Reckless – “Heaven Knows””

Trailer: Guardians of the Galaxy

Dudes will love the new full-length Guardians of the Galaxy trailer because goofball Chris Pratt is the male version of Jennifer Lawrence. He is every man’s imaginary BFF and every woman’s imaginary boyfriend.

Handsome but not threateningly so, Pratt plays the mischievous Star-Lord in Marvel’s upcoming superhero ensemble also starring Zoe Saldana, John C. Reilly and voice work from Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel.

It looks GOOOD partially thanks to virtually unknown director James Gunn, but mostly because of Chris.

Trailer: Game of Thrones Season 4: Vengeance

Another month passes that I continue to slack off and NOT catch up with the Song of Ice and Fire books in time for a new season. In the new trailer, Arya Stark is planning to roast Lannister body parts kebob-style, leaving all the ignant non-book smart folk wondering if the Khaleesi and her dragons will beat her to it.

Meanwhile, Joffrey’s marrying the ginger with the good boobs and Tyrion is living in fear of his own family, but the queen is PROBABLY too busy making kissy faces with her boyfriend-brother to kill him just yet.

Get your finger on the remote/torrent downloading button – Game of Thrones returns to HBO on April 6!

Rebecca Black Pours Corn Syrup in Our Eardrums With ‘Friday’ Follow-Up

Rebecca Black Saturday phoneYou and Rebecca Black might have more in common than you think. Like you, she’s still trying to get “Friday” out of her head. This according to lyrics from her new song, “Saturday.”

At 16, she’s three years older than you remember her, but, as you know, this age difference isn’t terribly noticeable in terms of maturity.

She’s still referencing her old song (“gotta have my bowl”), partying “all night” and wondering where the peanut butter and some guy’s pants have gone.

Unfortunately, it’s not quite as catchy as “Friday” and probably won’t spawn as many awesome parodies. 

Continue reading “Rebecca Black Pours Corn Syrup in Our Eardrums With ‘Friday’ Follow-Up”

Lady Gaga Rubs Against Joseph Gordon-Levitt For Retro, Christmas-Themed Body Heat

20131130-223706.jpg
Lady Gaga actually looks about as surprised as we are to see Joseph Gordon-Levitt on top of her, singing the 1949 classic “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” for her holiday special last week.

I mean she looks terrified. Not just here, but all the time. Why is that? It’s like the face her grandma would make after hearing the lyrics to that new song “Swine.Continue reading “Lady Gaga Rubs Against Joseph Gordon-Levitt For Retro, Christmas-Themed Body Heat”

Funny Video: Granny Sh*t Talks While Playing GTA V

In case you hadn’t heard, everyone and their grandma, apparently, are playing GTA V this month.

There’s parachuting, “Grand Theft Auto hell” for bad sports who blow up personal vehicles and a $500,000 stimulus package that no one needs because everyone’s making virtual millions using car-selling glitches.

Continue reading “Funny Video: Granny Sh*t Talks While Playing GTA V”

Funny Video: Peyton and Eli Manning – “Football On Your Phone” Rap

Derpy quarterback bro duo Eli Manning and Peyton Manning filmed a pretty great commercial for DirecTV called “Football On Your Phone” looking like one anti-swag Dana Carvey and one hair clone of Alice from the Brady Bunch both mastering Mr. Potatohead face.

“Look at this guy using his phone as a phone. Your phone ain’t for calling, your phone is for football.”
Eli Peyton gif football on your phone

Funny Video: Celebrities Read Mean Tweets #4

“The Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” segment on Jimmy Kimmel Live managed to cause a minor controversy when a writer noted that the tweets were “too funny” to be real.

After researching the past clips and recent one that commented on Jessica Alba’s relevance and the size of Kelly Ripa’s head and Andy Samberg’s nose, she found that a few of the accounts didn’t exist.

Others were suspended or seemed very suspicious because the users had only written one tweet.
Elisabeth Moss mean tweet
Shame on Kimmel and his writers for being too lazy to sort through Twitter.

Funny Video: Sh*t Lady Gaga Says

One of the net’s favorite queens has to be Charlie Hides (also known as Kandi Kane and Laquisha Jonz), for his Cher, Lana Del Rey, Madonna and Lady Gaga sketches.

In one of the latest posted to his channel, Hides wears memorable Gaga outfits and spouts lines like “I’m not inspired by anyone…” [Cut to a scene of her singing “Express Yourself” in the bathtub.]

Funny Video: Celebrities Read Mean Tweets #3

Jimmy Kimmel released his third “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” segment on Tuesday to commemorate the six-year anniversary of Twitter existing.

The first two featured recent guests like Justin Bieber, Anna Faris, Snooki, Kristen Stewart and Katy Perry reading grammatically questionable Tweets attacking their character, appearance, and/or career.

Continue reading “Funny Video: Celebrities Read Mean Tweets #3”

Video: Solange – “Losing You”

For once, being the underappreciated sibling of a massively famous pop star has worked out for someone. Yes, Beyonce’s sister Solange is cool as hell.

Her hair is real, she dresses like edgy urkel, sings like it’s the 80s and collaborates with indie favorites like Dev Hynes (Blood Orange) and rapper Theophilus London (check out “Flying Overseas”).

Continue reading “Video: Solange – “Losing You””

Forget That She’s A Zumba Madam, Alexis Wright Sucks At Dancing

Hold the phone. The madam who sold her Zumba class attendees’ bodies to men behind and in her studio is not very good at dancing. After several NSFW videos of Alexis Wright were posted on Gawker, one commenter wrote:

“Jesus this woman is a mess. She’s a really bad dancer. I definitely wouldn’t take Zumba from her. Also, hearing people dirty talk to themselves is so awkward. “Oh, fuck me in the ass.” Lady, I know you’re alone. Cut out the shenanigans and just masturbate. Lastly, you shouldn’t ever put food in your vagina, especially a popsicle. Its disgusting and you’ll get an infection. I can tell those moans aren’t from pleasure, they’re grimaces because she put a fucking frozen juice stick inside of herself.”  Continue reading “Forget That She’s A Zumba Madam, Alexis Wright Sucks At Dancing”