Amanda Bynes Thinks She’s a Mermaid, or a Rapper or a Rapper/Mermaid

Amanda Bynes green wig court First off, I’d like to congratulate Amanda Bynes on being consistently crazy for over a year since her very first DUI last spring. Lohan 2.0 is really holding her own.

Second, Mandy wore this awesomely stylish getup to court today. Greenish-blue wig, black sweatpants, sleeveless jersey and shades… It’s almost like the voices in her head don’t know they belong to a suburban white girl.

Pretty sure she wore this crap and dyed one of her old blonde wigs to unimpress the judge. Seeing that she’s, you know, pretending to be insane, according to someone else’s publicist.

The hair is kinda mermaid-y. It’s just that mermaids don’t have tattoos and they don’t actually have crabs, they just befriend them. Voices: tell her she’s a sailor, not a mermaid. The identity crisis is getting old.

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BONGS AWAY: Amanda Bynes Charged With Reckless Endangerment

Amanda Bynes short hairAmanda Bynes has no hair, no sanity, and according to her, no bong.

After being arrested and charged with unlawful possession of marijuana and reckless endangerment for allegedly throwing a bong out the window of her Manhattan apartment, Bynes tweeted that she doesn’t do drugs at all.

“I only smoke tobacco I don’t drink or do drugs. I’ve never had a bong in my life! I need to get another nose job after seeing my mugshot,” she wrote.

Amanda showed up to court in a messy blonde wig looking like Smurfette after an incestual gangbang.

So… Her shopping list now includes a new bong, more rhinoplasty and a better toupee?  Continue reading “BONGS AWAY: Amanda Bynes Charged With Reckless Endangerment”

Madonna is ‘Addicted’ To Sweat, And Instagram!

Madonna wig InstagramMadonna just joined Instagram and has already started hazing herself. In the first photo, Madge wears a Bettie Page wig with a peculiar orange tint and a simple “Cheers motherf*ckers! I’m on instagram.”

One commentator wrote that she looked like “an aardvark sucking up ants,” but I disagree…

Lady Gaga looks nothing like an aardvark.

She ditched the alcoholic drink in her second picture for a breezy, cucumber-infused shot of semen. Semen that she claimed was sweat. Sweat that she is “addicted to.” (If you’re immature and you know it and you really wanna show it KEEP REPLACING “SWEAT” WITH “SEMEN.”)  Continue reading “Madonna is ‘Addicted’ To Sweat, And Instagram!”

Beth Behrs Goes Brunette On ‘2 Broke Girls,’ Looks Even More Like Lea Michele

The season two premiere of 2 Broke Girls aired on Tuesday and in the episode, titled “And The Hidden Stash,” Caroline (Beth Behrs) and Max (Kat Dennings) visit Caroline’s father in jail, who tells them to go to an estate auction featuring her family’s possessions to acquire a horse-jumping trophy.

This calls for one half of the most hilarious television pairing since Monica and Rachel to put on a disguise – a brunette wig.

And speaking of Rachel, Rachel Berry of Glee, that is, Beth Behrs looks enough like Glee‘s Lea Michele in a brown-haired wig to make everyone wonder if they do in fact share DNA. Kind of like how Dennings shares devil genes with Hilary Duff.  Continue reading “Beth Behrs Goes Brunette On ‘2 Broke Girls,’ Looks Even More Like Lea Michele”

The Many Wigs Of Kim Kardashian

In episode three of Keeping Up with The Kardashians season seven titled “Everybody’s Wigging Out,” Kim predictable and calmly loses her mind [for television] because of post-traumatic divorce stress.

Khloe tells her over the phone to not dwell on it and to have fun, saying “You gotta just do some silly and outrageous, like, kooky things that will take your mind off of this kind of stuff.”  Continue reading “The Many Wigs Of Kim Kardashian”

Cher’s Hair Is Taller Than Chaz Bono

Cher shocked attendees at the GLAAD’s 23rd Annual Media Awards on Saturday when she stood next to her 5’5″ son, Chaz Bono rocking a gigantic Tamara Dobson-worthy afro. (Google her)

Maybe for Cher height hair equals the amount of support and pride she’s feeling inside?

#CherFro equals happiness.

Ms. Sarkisian (original last name) surprised the crowd when she put her chap-knitting hobby aside for one night to present Chaz with the Stephen F. Kolzak Award.

This award is handed out annually to an openly LBGT celeb for helping to eliminate homophobia in some way. The book Transition: The Story Of How I Became A Man and an appearance on the highly successful show Dancing With The Stars certainly qualifies.

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Ron Perlman In ‘Frankie Go Boom’ AKA Unpretty Monkey Woman

Female hackers are hip right now. Lisbeth Salander and her Macbook plus that CBS show whose script had too much in common with The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and was threatened by Sony Pictures.

One hacker movie that isn’t going to have their mailbox stuffed full of legal letters is Ron Perlman‘s latest, Frankie Go Boom, in which he plays a (super hot) transgendered hacker.

It stars Lizzie Caplan, Chris O’Dowd, Whitney Cummings and Perlman’s Anarchy stepson Charlie Hunnam/Jax Teller.

The plot seems to involve two brothers who visit Perlman’s character “Phil” in hopes of removing a scandalous video from the internet.

Once they discover he’s transformed into “Phyllis” things get more complicated, apparently.  Continue reading “Ron Perlman In ‘Frankie Go Boom’ AKA Unpretty Monkey Woman”

Ryan Gosling Admits To Total Femininity

In an interview with Ryan Gosling for The Independent, many fascinating topics were covered including his ballet skills, child/woman hood and new movie, The Ides Of March. Here are the two highlights:

“I think like a girl, I think. I was literally raised by my mother and my sister. And I just feel like I wouldn’t know how to think any other way. My sister was my best friend and my hero growing up. Because I was home-schooled I didn’t have a lot of friends and I did ballet, which was always just girls. All of that had an effect on my brain.” 

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Is That You, Nicole Kidman??

Nicole Kidman went CRAZY Baywatch blonde for her upcoming role in The Paperboy, costarring Zac Efron, John Cusack and Matthew Mcconaughey. I wonder how long Nicole will keep that huge mop of yellow hair? Yikes. Maybe it’s a wig? I’m no expert. Somebody investigate this for me? Very Stepford Wife-y.

Oh here’s a synopsis of The Paperboy, from Publisher’s Weekly, in case you were wondering.

“Narrator Jack James is the son of the Moat County Tribune’s editor and publisher. While Jack’s older brother, Ward, reports for the Miami Times, Jack has settled for a job delivering papers for the Tribune. But when Ward and his partner, evil dandy Yardley Acheman, come to Moat County to investigate the four-year-old murder of the local sheriff, Jack assists them in the inquiry.”

Wait, what? I fell asleep reading that summary.