Saddest Selfie of All Time?

wiz-jail Here’s why Wiz Khalifa’s selfie from a jail cell in El Paso is one of the saddest of all time:

He was caught with a mere 0.5 grams of weed (he had 60 grams on his tour bus in 2010).

The only thing that costs less than his $300 bail is Amber Rose’s haircut.

It looks like he’s wearing a diaper.

The police are investigating the contraband phone, as inmates are not allowed to take pictures from jail, so He PROBABLY had to shove it up his ass, which explains the diaper and the look on his face.

Worst of all, he was released, so we still have to listen to his music and watch him try to form words at award shows.

Those Dummies Had Their Baby, Named it “Sebastian ‘The Bash’ Taylor Thomaz”

Wiz Khalifa Amber Rose tonguesI would say that I don’t know what it is about “Da Real” Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa that makes me want to smash my baby toe with a sledgehammer, but that’s not true…

It’s the incessant appearances at award shows like the VMAs, AMAs and Grammys. Dare I say that I could make more of a case for Chris Brown being invited?

The cure for Wiz Khalifa’s rapping is submerging your ears in bathtub water for 30 minutes a day, and the same goes for listening to Amber Rose talk.

You are NOT the black Natalie Portman, and it’s only amazing that you made a baby because of the medical miracle of his sperm heading towards your eggs instead of the weed clinic.  Continue reading “Those Dummies Had Their Baby, Named it “Sebastian ‘The Bash’ Taylor Thomaz””

Wiz Khalifa (Possibly) Married Amber Rose

It doesn’t come as a surprise that the skinny-bones rapper Wiz Khalifa would marry that bald girlfriend of his, Amber Rose. The two were discussing marriage just a few weeks ago at the VMA pre-show.

MediaTakeOut is reporting that the two were wed Thursday, September 8th in Las Vegas, but others are saying that the “photographic evidence” is really just of them celebrating Wiz’s birthday.

I guess since Kanye never married her, she took the so-not-next best thing. And who is Amber Rose? I see her all the time and still don’t know. A model/alien with a diamond-encrusted vagina?

Continue reading “Wiz Khalifa (Possibly) Married Amber Rose”