The Sun Is Gonna Mess Up Your Phone! (Maybe)

Scientists are reporting that an upcoming surge of solar flares (a sudden, brightening/release of excess energy from the sun) is likely to severely impact satellites, and telecommunications. Basically, your phone, and your Tom Tom! If it is going to happen, it will reportedly happen over the next few days.

Joseph Kunches, a scientist at the Space Weather Prediction Center, a division of the NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) has been quoted in saying,

“The magnetic storm that is soon to develop probably will be in the moderate to strong level.”

He went on to talk about how a solar storm of several solar flares could not only create a visible aurora, and that it will likely impact global positioning devices.

NASA has also said that the storm could come like “a bolt of lightning,” causing all kinds of problems to devices that are sensitive to magnetic energy. So, basically, that’s everything you value, you materialistic hookers.

There have only been two serious accounts of solar storms affecting the world. The most recent occurred in Canada’s Quebec territory in 1973, where over five million people were left without power for several hours. Then previously in 1859, the largest ever recorded, where your poor great grandparents were left without any form of communication besides snailmail. NOOOOOO.

IF a storm on the level of the one in 1859 happens, it will cost the world billions and billions of dollars in electrical damage. Plus your phone might not work. Maybe even your computer. No more sexting, no more “liking” videos of dancing ninja cats or guys hitting each other in the gnads with plywood. Sadness.

Let’s pray to the lord Buddha Jesus Allah Angelina Jolie Spaghetti Monster that it doesn’t happen.

See more about the possible impact of solar flares plus recent warnings about them HERE.

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