Gavin DeGraw Could NEVER Date This Girl

So I’m sitting on my couch watching Jump Start on VH1 at 3:30 a.m. and some new Gavin DeGraw video pops up, first off, I didn’t know he was even still alive let alone releasing new music? I remember hearing his song “I Don’t Want To Be” and “Chariot” over and over and over in 2005, so naturally I was rather happy when his bizarre fedora-obsessed ass disappeared off the face of the earth. (He’s like Train, but worse)

THEN I found out he was attacked several days ago outside the bar he co-owns (WHAT?) THEN he was hit by a taxi, right after the attack. WHAT? Don’t worry DeGraw fans, he’s okay now.

Hmmm also I was watching this video (“Not Over You”) with this weird girl combination of Mary-Kate Olsen and Fiona Apple and thinking “Wow, Gavin DeGraw could NEVER date that girl.” Maybe Adam Levine of Maroon 5 could, cause we’ve all seen his exes.

I dunno who she is but she does really strange things in the video like watering plants, eating a hotdog, and taking a shower. The whole video kind of feels like a horror movie short. Like you just keep wondering when Gavin DeGraw is going to kill that poor girl with his troll-face indentations and hair that hasn’t been washed since his very first birthday in the late 70’s.

5 thoughts on “Gavin DeGraw Could NEVER Date This Girl

  1. Wow. What a crappy ass article! Gavin is a great guy, amazing singer, and quite frankly the douchbag that wrote this article just sounds like a jealous wanker.

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  2. I saw Gavin DeGraw in concert on cable and fell in love. He is an amazing artist and super cute!!! I love his hats. He looks really good in them. I am so glad he recovered from the attack. I would pay to see him in concert in a heartbeat.

    Like

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