Why Is Snooki Still Dating That Jionni Guy?

After watching last night’s episode of Jersey Shore (season four, episode eight), I have to wonder why that adorable Chilean volcano sub sandwich is still dating that horribly unfun steroid pumpkin Jionni? During the episode, Jionni finally came to visit Nicole in Italy (taped in early 2011) and naturally she was as ecstatic as a 4’9″ guidette can be.

She immediately brought him to the smoosh/GTL impregnation room while he complained about wanting to “shower” in a high-pitched voice. Later, the whole group embarked on their usual quest to the Italian discotheque scene, wandering on cobblestones in high heels and gold and silver sneakers.

Snooki got all dressed up, in what Ronnie described as simply “a swimsuit…”

And so it was, a pink leopard-print swimsuit, one of those one-pieces that curvy chicks who were once middle class and also Paris Hilton, put on all the time. It was pretty adorable, I must admit, though the take-out packaging on the fajita was coming a bit loose.

Snooki and Jionni went to the club and she started pulling her boobs out and flashing her cooter left and right in a wave of TV censorship.

(If I ever go to this type of club in my life, all I’m going to see is blurry skin-colored circles everywhere, even if nothing explicit is happening. It’s all Jersey Shore’s fault)

Anyway, Jionni LaValle, with his ‘roid-walk and generally sour attitude, got pissed and left the club, running away from Snooki’s sad drunken”kooka” blurs and heart-breaking slurs while Ronnie and JWoww ran after him.

And, as Pauly D said various times on the show, in so many words, you knew what you were getting into when you started dating Snooki! You can’t get jealous just cause she flashed her taco platter in a semi-deserted part of the club! Let it go man.

I just don’t understand why these two are together? I know things are dramaticized for television, but the dude is still a serious toolshed. Poor Snooki, with her eating disorder and low self-esteem.

I’ve seen her on talk shows saying how she wants to marry him and have his height-challenged (and other challenges) babies. They’re still together now and I have no idea why, obviously it irks me greatly.

Snooki: LEAVE HIM! YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR THAT SCHEISSE. Date Vinny instead, or  Deena…I need to see what your in vitro meatball babies would look like!