The Coldplay frontman told NME, “I know our lyrics are a bit shit, but those ones [for ‘Charlie Brown’] I like them a lot.” “Charlie Brown” is song number four on their latest watered-down U2 ripoff party called Mylo Xyloto.
And to prove his idiocy (though finally he’s being honest about how half-assed his band really is) he said, on his potential hit duet with Rihanna, called “Princess Of China:”
“She has such an amazing voice and it’s so different to mine. When the vocal happened I thought ‘Wow, you sound different.'” Yes, Rihanna SOUNDS different from you. Probably because she’s a woman? Just a thought.
Here’s how Chris Martin picked the album title: “We thought it’d be nice to have something that didn’t mean anything else except what your imagination wanted it to and doesn’t have any other hits on Google.”
And the lyrics to that song, “Charlie Brown?” They operate on maybe a 15 year-old’s emotional level. Gems like “Took a car downtown where the lost boys meet. I took a car downtown and took what they offered me, to set me free.” AND “Light a spark, light a fire, a flame in my heart.”
And if you just can’t get enough Coldplay hatred, check out my article which I call “Every Teardrop Is A Moment Listening To Coldplay,” about their recent music video and how Chris’s voice is the devil:
I tune my ears in to his voice, and I feel him hypnotizing me with some horrendous new form of torture. And what is that new form of torture? The one where blood comes pouring from my ear canal, and there can never be enough tissues or towels or doctors to stop the painful endless surge of tissue that is escaping my hemorrhaging brain…
This new form of torture, it does have a name, it is called ‘Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall.’ Yes indeed. June 3rd was the date of its arrival above the volcanic heat inferno of Martin’s home, with his iconic barnyard goat servants, and captured slave wife Gwyneth Paltrow.
To summarize, Chris Martin just realized that, 1. His lyrics are terrible. 2. He doesn’t sound like Rihanna, and 3. “Mylo Xyloto” is a made-up word.