Zooey D. Splits From Husband, Frances Bean Engaged

In other random rock star/rock offspring news… Zooey Deschanel, who married Death Cab For Cutie frontman Ben Gibbard in 2009, is getting a divorce while Frances Bean Cobain is getting hitched!

I know the two are in no way related but I was very saddened by the new of Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon’s break-up, so I immediately began wracking my brain for legitimate adorable rock or indie couples of today.

Guess what I came up with? Several weeks ago, I thought of Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard! And now they’re getting divorced too. So aggravating, there are no notable romantic musician-pairings left besides Brody Dalle and Josh Homme.

Except we have the sort of relevance engagement of Frances Bean Cobain to 26 year-old Isaiah Silva, of The Rambles. This makes me a little wary since their most famous song seems to be “I Just Want To Sleep With You.”

“I don’t really wanna fall in love cause I just wanna sleep with you,” that’s the chorus. And I’m not concerned because of content/lyrics. I’m annoyed because it’s a terrible song.

Shouldn’t the daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love have better taste in music? Or the sensibility to not get married at age 19, at least her dad waited till he was 25.

You know what, nevermind, what am I talking about? Her parents were two of the least sensible (yet most musically amazing) parents ever. Why would I expect Frances to make wise choices? I’m never having children. My expectations are too high.

I wanted her to marry some genius musician who doesn’t even exist. Someone with Hendrix’s guitar skills, Eddie Vedder’s voice, Alex Turner’s wittiness and the face of a young Jim Morrison.

I guess this emo-scrub version of Kurt will have to do.

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