Christina Aguilera: Pregnant Or Sausage? (Moves Like Jäger)

When I say “pregnant or sausage” I don’t mean is she pregnant or does she have a penis, I mean is it just her natural sausage physique. You know, where the body morphs and is all one shape and size right down the middle. No hips no boobs, just one conglomerate, like melted taco cheese.

After her performance at the American Music Awards people noticed that Christina Aguilera looked pregnant, but she’s not, and why are people just now noticing this? She looked like that on The Voice and when she flubbed the national anthem at The Super Bowl for god’s sakes and before.

Message to all girls under 5’4″ – if you are even two pounds overweight DO NOT under any circumstances wear clothing that is too small for you.

Don’t stuff your dachshund body into shiny stripper dresses or people will think you are with child. This is a perfect example of that.

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