…Or am I just a perv? I was at the movie theater on Tuesday to see Breaking Dawn (don’t judge me, it was six-dollar day) and I stumbled into one of those giant pop-out movie posters, you know, the ones that seem aimed at children. (If I saw them as a kid I would’ve tried to pull them apart and eat them)
This particular poster was for Arthur Christmas, the latest cartoon to feature a slew celebrities in cute yet degrading roles, sure to be a massive box office success because bored parents insist on dragging their disruptive demon spawn children to theaters.
The film came out on Wednesday, November 23, to prepare for the Holiday weekend. It stars James McAvoy, Hugh Laurie, Eva Longoria, Laura Linney and Bill Nighy as “grandsanta,” pictured left.
That happens to be the poster I saw, which made me simultaneously laugh and cringe. “All Cane, No Candy.” And why is the cane double-pronged? Is this a Disney movie by chance? We all know what they’re famous for…Priest boner innuendo, “sex” spellings in Lion King plus Arabian tiger molestation in Aladdin.