So This is Jennifer Lopez’s New Boyfriend?

Casper Smart is no longer a rumored boytoy of J-Lo, he’s a sure thing. You know how I know? Jennifer Lopez has consistently bad taste in men. I once confused Marc Anthony for the hamster I had in 2nd grade. And who remembers Ojani Noa, or Cris Judd?

Like Smart, Judd was a choreographer and dancer/”actor.” Though when a dancer calls themselves an actor it’s the equivalent to a stripper calling themselves a dancer.

Lopez and Smart were seen cuddling over the Thanksgiving weekend in Hawaii, oh and he danced shirtless beside her at the American Music Awards. Let’s look at the facts. He’s 24, she’s 41. That makes her 17 years his senior. Oy vey.

Fact #2, he looks like Mario Cantone, you know, Charlotte’s bitchy gay wedding planner friend on Sex And The City. Fact #3 he was a backup dancer on Glee, she was in Gigli. Fact #4, no matter how many different angles you look at him from, he still isn’t quite attractive. He’s like a guy you might like in High School.

People are supposed to grow out of this “type.” Wiggers, breakdancing, suspenders, armpit stains, foreheads and smiles bigger than Rihanna’s sex drive. I just don’t understand what happened to J-Lo that made her hate herself so much. See for yourself…


[This dude’s resume makes tears fall from my normally emotionless eyes]

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