Ever since her cultural birth in 1998 she’s pushed the boundaries of her handcrafted virginal image with song content, live shows and videos – all injected with heavy doses of unsubtle sexuality.
Ever since “Email My Heart” I’ve been thinking about how absurd and hilarious her music really is. She didn’t begin to truly “shock” the bubblegum crowd until her third CD, Britney, where she took a noteworthy but juvenile stab at swearing. (“Hell” on “I’m a Slave For You”)
However, the real peek into the future of slutpop came with 2003’s In The Zone, the height of her popularity, with “Toxic.” By 2005, her throne had melted into canned-cheese and head-shaving madness.
Despite the wave of bad press (crotch-flashing, umbrella-smashing, marriage, babies and a fatty glimpse of dance skills had and lost during her corrosive “Gimme More” VMA performance) she steadily kept making relevant music that did well on the charts and pleased both the diehard and bandwagon fans.
Here are some of her most shocking lyrics, whether they represent a relevant moment in B-Spears history or register high on the richter scale of weirdness or overt horniness…
1. “I make no apologies, I’m into phonography.” (“Phonography” off Circus, 2008) This bonus track is definitely not dedicated to a stenography hobby. Sexting is before Brit’s time but she’s very skilled at heavy breathing.
2. “I don’t need your money, I just want your D.” (“Drop Dead Beautiful” off Femme Fatale, 2011) This verse from Sabi, one of Britney’s rare guests, needs no explanation or Googled abbreviation search. If you can’t figure it out you’re not the right age for The Twist.
3. “E-mail my heart and say our love will never die.” (“Email My Heart” off …Baby One More Time, 1999) Updated version: Gmail my heart.
4. “I shut myself out from the world so I can draw the blinds, and I’ll teach myself to fly.” (“Touch Of My Hand” off In The Zone, 2003) This song has everything in common with “She Bop,” “Turning Japanese” and “Dancing With Myself.”
5. “Three is a charm, two is not the same. I don’t see the harm so are you game? Let’s make a team.” (“3” off Britney Spears: The Singles Collection, 2009) Wild Things alert! Other lyrics: Merrier the more/triple fun that way, twister on the floor.
6. “What’s practical? What’s logical? What the hell, who cares?” (“I’m A Slave For You” off Britney, 2001) Like I said, this was a BIG DEAL at the time. The parents of her adolescent followers were rioting like angry Raiders’ fans.
7. “Baby I’m a freak and I don’t really give a damn, I’m crazy as a motherfucker.” (“Get Naked I Got A Plan” off Blackout, 2007)” It may not be on the copy of the song that you own, since she censors herself with a tricky little puff of air. The original uncensored demo can be heard HERE.
8. “Chimpanzee’s is hatin’ but I take it all in stride, put her in a jungle with bananas on the side.” (“Till The World Ends” remix feat. Nicki Minaj & Ke$ha, 2011) Not many can pull off rapping about monkeys, bananas and fried chicken in a single song. Congrats, Nicki.
9. “Please forgive me, my weakness caused you pain and this song’s my sorry.” (“Everytime” off In The Zone, 2003) This was Britney’s very personal comment on Justin Timberlake, post-breakup and two years after his “Cry Me A River” video dropped. Plus, it’s one of only eight songs she’s ever co-written.
10. “Baby shut your mouth and turn me inside out.” (“Inside Out” off Femme Fatale, 2011) That line plus the easter-egg nod to her roots in “Hit me one more time, it’s so amazing” made this my favorite off FF. “Inside out?” How else could that be interpreted? It’s not laundry day, it’s spleen-pokage!