A teacher in Washington D.C. was fired from Trinidad Center City Charter School after utilizing math problems that involved vampires, aliens, blood, murder, terrorists, tobacco, and cannibals. Here’s an example of that very thing:
“My 3 friends and I were caught and tied up by 1023 screaming cannibals in a jungle last night. Soon we were feeling terribly itchy because of the mosquitoes. We begged the cannibals to scratch us. 219 cannibals refused because they were busy cutting vegetables. The rest of them surrounded us and began to scratch us with their teeth, just like dogs. It felt good! How many cannibals scratched me?”
The third-grade story problems were taken from Homeschooling Paradise.com, a seemingly harmless source for parents and teachers that, upon closer look, seems very inappropriate for children. Here are some other addition and subtraction problems taken from the website:
“I took a nap in a bog one day and woke up screaming. 3796 leeches, 2910 fleas and 1044 vampire bats were stuck to my bald head drinking my blood in ecstasy. How many bloodthirsty bloodsuckers were dining on my head?”
“John’s father gave him 1359 marbles on his birthday. John swallowed 585 marbles and died. 9 of John’s friends came for his funeral the next day. John’s grieving father gave the remaining marbles to John’s friends in equal numbers. How many marbles did each friend get?”
“John, Jack and Jim lit up their pipes after dinner and began blowing smoke rings. By the time they were finished, they had blown a total of 6437 smoke rings. If John blew 52 smoke rings and Jack blew 3896 smoke rings, how many smoke rings did Jim blow?”
And my personal favorite: “Susan Shark had 15 pieces of $50 notes in her handbag and had to cook dinner for her hungry children. She went to the supermarket and bought 8 tender humans at $26 each and 7 juicy mermaids at $29 each. How much money did she have after that?”
When the teacher (it’s been indicated that he is also a minister) in question was discovered assigning these troublesome questions as curriculum, he tried to pretend like someone else told him to though they quickly fired him after they discerned that he had downloaded them off the internet.