Selma Blair possesses a common attitude. On the topic of feeding her son Arthur, she told People: “The only time he cries is if he’s hungry, we all have nipples. I don’t care who I offend; my baby wants to eat. If I can’t get a cover over me quick enough, so be it.”
I know I’m going to come off sounding mean. It’s not like she has to go home just because she’s breastfeeding, she can run to the bathroom or maybe a place that is child-sanctioned, like Chuck E. Cheese or Hooters.
I like Selma Blair… Hellboy II is my favorite comic book movie for god’s sake. I even liked when she snogged a ghost in The Fog remake. Regardless, here are my problems with public breastfeeding…
1. It is natural, but so is pooping. I don’t pop a squat in the middle of the floor even though that’s also an everyday thing that every human partakes in.
2. Nudity is illegal. If I’m not allowed to whip out my knockers in public (except in San Fran) then why is it okay for women with tiny bald Benjamin Buttons latched onto their udders? Babies aren’t cute and neither are your flappy, veiny, pepperonis.
3. Breastfeeding is lewd. Facebook says so. Thousands of nursing photos have been removed from Facebook since it was founded because they violate its decency policy.
Earlier this month a Canadian woman organized an international protest where many activists held “nurse-ins” which meant breastfeeding outside local Facebook offices. (Ew)
4. Kim Kardashian thinks it’s gross too, and she’s Armenian. Kim Kardashian may be a notorious snob, but she also comes from a family of at least six and is quite close with her sister Kourtney who is pregnant with a second child.
In 2010 Kim tweeted, “EWW Im at lunch,the woman at the table next 2 me is breast feeding her baby w no coverup.” I agree, super-selfish-lady-who-wants-to-eat-in-peace.