The plot of The Cabin In The Woods isn’t something I can talk much about. I can say that the ending insulted my intelligence, that the acting was bad and the special effects worse. Oh, and it’s not scary. Still want to see it?
I can’t warn you enough that it isn’t worth the price of a movie ticket or even a plastic bouncy ball from the Dollar Tree.
You’ll know from watching the trailer that there are five typical horror characters here – the jock, the whore, the fool, the scholar and the virgin.
This group of college-age people travel up to a cabin, belonging to the cousin of jock Chris Hemsworth aka Thor, that is being heavily monitored by an unseen group, Hunger Games-style. It’s part Evil Dead, part Truman Show, part Thirteen Ghosts.
It has all the campy comedic elements of any Joss Whedon project (Buffy for instance) and all the horribleness of director/writer Drew Goddard’s previous most famous film, Cloverfield, and most famous television project, Lost.
“Lost” is the perfect word to describe my dismay and feelings when the end credits rolled. Even appearances by Richard Jenkins and one of my all time favorite actresses, Sigourney Weaver, couldn’t save it.
Fitting that it debuted on Friday The 13th, because it felt like a cruel prank. All the good reviews? A 7.7 on IMDb? 93% on Rotten Tomatoes? Are you kidding me? It falls into both the horror and comedy genres, and as a fan of both, I was disappointed.
And to those who say it has depth, creativity, and “layers?” Only if the word creativity is a negative reference to someone who does hard drugs, writes gibberish on their wall and shakes too much. That’s who I figured thought it up.
One reviewer said, “This movie might look like a scream-fest from the outside, but what you get on the inside is a very clever and extremely funny pseudo-scarer.” If only it was a scream-fest!
There’s only one “surprise” twist and it is beyond silly and reminded me of a bad video game with selfish characters that you wish would die sooner, except maybe the lovable stoner with the collapsing coffee-cup bong.
Remember, just because it’s an original idea, doesn’t mean it’s a good one. (To clarify, I meant the movie, not the bong. That was brilliant)