Angelina Jolie’s recent engagement to Brad Pitt, father of her children and partner for seven years means doesn’t mean much to humanity. You’re just going to see a ton of pictures of her left elongated spider hand and the ring that adorns it.
Before you say it, Jennifer Aniston does not care about this news There are even [unlikely] rumors that she might go to the wedding. And how good would that feel? Showing up with Justin Theroux, looking happier than ever, relieved not to be with that toolbox that left her for another woman. Hopefully she gets a plus two invite so she can bring Chelsea Handler.
I don’t care how many Cambodian children Angelina Jolie saves, how many refugee camps she visits, or sick hands she shakes. She’s still THAT woman. A snake in the grass, slithering around stealing other people’s husbands.
She probably collects data about her surroundings by flicking her tongue into the air. I just wonder what doctor gave her those eyelids. They’re quite convincing.