John Mayer Was Utterly ‘Humiliated’ By A Taylor Swift Song, Wimp Status: Confirmed (Still)

John Mayer told Rolling Stone that the song Taylor Swift wrote about him, 2010’s “Dear John,” made him feel like fly-covered shit.

“It made me feel terrible” he told the magazine“Because I didn’t deserve it. I’m pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do.”

“I was really caught off-guard, and it really humiliated me at a time when I’d already been dressed down.”

“I mean, how would you feel if, at the lowest you’ve ever been, someone kicked you even lower?” 

John’s femme, emotive rant goes on to cut Swift as a musician, whom he briefly dated (and collaborated with on the song “Half Of My Heart”) when he was 31 and she was 19.

“I will say as a songwriter that I think it’s kind of cheap songwriting, I know she’s the biggest thing in the world, and I’m not trying to sink anybody’s ship, but I think it’s abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, ‘Wait till he gets a load of this!’ That’s bullshit.”

What a puss. A 115 pound, curly blonde-haired crossover country star hurt him that bad? Take up the bit about artistic expression aimed at your ex with Alanis Morissette and Adele.

What songs would even exist if singers didn’t write lyrics about relationships? Not that crappy “Your Body Is A Wonderland” thing, that’s for sure.

Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong. Don’t you think nineteen’s too young, to be played by your dark, twisted games?…All the girls that you run dry have tired lifeless eyes cause you burned them out.

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