Taylor Swift Tops Forbes’ List Of The Highest Paid Celebs Under 30

1. Taylor Swift. Album and tickets sales plus a CoverGirl contract make Swifty the highest paid famous person under 30 and the 11th highest overall on Forbes’ annual list. Congrats, bumpkin [not blumpkin].

2. Justin Bieber. You’re not number one! You’re not number one! Who run the world? Not 10-17 year-old girls (since Taylor won, I guess it’s more like 12-21 year-olds).
3. Rihanna. I think this has a lot to do with her releasing Talk That Talk exactly a year after Loud. BarbadoClownTastic doesn’t waste time. 2011’s list had her raking in $29 million, this time it’s $53. At this rate, when she’s middle-aged she’ll be chasing a panhandling Bill Gates off her property with an iced-out broom.
4. Lady Gaga. Gaga earned $90 million from May 2010-2011, but that amount dropped to $52 million in the last 12 months, putting her at a surprisingly low (for her) position on this list. 5. Katy Perry. Notice the lack of men on this list? If you count Lil’ Wayne, there’s four. Out of ten! I don’t have anything to say about Katy Perry being on this list except that I hope she stops milking that Teenage Dream. “The Complete Confection” and its three unique tracks give me Russell Brand withdrawals.
6. Adele. Pregnancy might slow her down. Despite having started work on her third album, someone like the deep-rolling media has a rumor that Adele may not release it for several years because “she doesn’t feel comfortable being such a high-profile celebrity.”
7. Kristen Stewart. Was on top of the Forbes highest paid actresses list. Makes sense since she’s the only non-musically inclined lady on here.
8. Lil’ Wayne. Touring is key, in the case of Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. aka Lil’ Wayne. While album sales for Tha Carter IV were impressive, he made $600,000 and up on each concert and there were 50 of them.
9. Taylor Lautner. According to list-compiler Dorothy Pomerantz, Taylor Lautner didn’t beat Robert Pattinson because he makes more money, but because he’s ‘more famous.’ Agree or disagree?
10. Robert Pattinson. The high-society snobs might call him “new money” or, as a really cheesy person with Laffy Taffy Twilight jokes would call it, “New Moon money.” Sorry.

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