Video: Justin Bieber – As Long As You Love Me Feat. Big Sean

There aren’t a lot of ways to argue that Justin Bieber isn’t a boy bander gone solo who just happened to never be in a boy band. He’s everything I remember from the Lou Pearlman days of my youth.

But, he was “created” strictly by his 18-year-old mother instead of a fat man with a Lance bAss fetish. Now he’s so “Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman…” Eighteen, and not caring that “As Long As You Love Me” is already the name of a Backstreet Boys song released three years after he was born. 

Or maybe I should blame the four writers of this song, which is now a video starring Big Sean, the Biebs and Michael Madsen, formerly of Thelma & Louise + Kill Bill fame, now known for After Dark Horrorfest movies and SyFy originals.
Witness the heartfelt dialogue between a fallen veteran actor and a spoiled pop star who likens himself to Michael Jackson, managing to be almost as feminine and about half as talented…

Madsen: “Listen kid, my daughter is everything. She needs me as much as I need her. That means someday I have to let her go. When I do she needs to be with a man, not a boy.”
Bieber: “I love her”

Madsen: “Yeah sure you do, I know what type of guy you are. Once upon a time I used to be the same thing. You know what that means? …That means one day you’ll leave her for somebody else. That can’t happen.”
Bieber: “You don’t know us.”

Madsen: “I don’t want to. I don’t want to know you.”
Amen. La fin. Konichiwa.