Obama Thinks You Need To Be Drunk To Vote For Him

I know I’m just one of many people who have grown tired of Obama‘s youthful “I’m cool, please like me” antics. It would be fine if you all voted for him in 2004 because the thought of another Republican in the white house frightened you too much.

Instead, people my age and older voted for the FIRST TIME because they were overly inspired by the “Obama Hope” campaign. The t-shirts, the celebrity endorsements, the Decemberists (and many other bands) playing free concerts in his honor… 

His charisma and [what I’m told are] great speaking-abilities won everyone over. I was always just too jaded to fall for it. I know that there is no quick fix to anything, and that there would be a “change” no matter what because he simply wasn’t George Bush.
Too many vacations, playing football in Hawaii when he should be at least pretending to fix the deficit and giving us decent health care options. I’m sick of Canadians laughing at me because the state doesn’t pay for my anus bleachings and whatnot.

I’m also baffled by how much cooler Michelle Obama is. Like ACTUALLY cool. Not just, used-to-smoke-pot, buys-everyone-shots cool. Speaking of buying people alcohol… that’s exactly what Obama did at the Iowa State fair on Monday.

I reject your alcohol and raise you a STOP DRINKING AND FIX THE GODDAMN COUNTRY!

You have four more years, I think that should be enough time to get something done. Then again, that’s what I said the first time.

I’ll vote sober, and still regret it in the morning.

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