Prince Williams Swoops Into Action, Saves Teenage Girl From A Cruel, Watery Death

Imagine you’re a teenage girl. Shouldn’t be too hard since most of The Twist’s comments seem to come from severely emotionally stunted 13-year-old boys pretending to be of-age female schoolteachers or Staples employees.

Imagine that you are drowning. Yeah, you’re out with your sister by the bay and you’re completely helpless and cold. Suddenly, Prince Williams appears.

See what a fantasy this already sounds like? I don’t fancy myself an Astrid Lindgren-type, nor an erotic novelist whose name rhymes with “Hell Fames.” This is a true story. 

Prince William is actually a certified search and rescue captain who flies around in a helicopter saving Russian sailors and young girls from certain death.
According to The Telegraph, on Thursday Princess Diana’s son The Duke Of Cambridge helped a 16-year-old girl and her 13-year-old sister who was stuck in the rushing Welsh waters of Silver Bay.

If you’re doing what I’m doing, and still imagining yourself in the place of these helpless youths, you’d be saying “Ummm I did not just pretend to drown for YOUR bald ass to show up. Where the fuck is Harry?”

All the single heroes, all the single heroes.

One thought on “Prince Williams Swoops Into Action, Saves Teenage Girl From A Cruel, Watery Death

  1. Just so you know not all teenage girls are helpless, there’re some who are independent and are far succeeding societies expectations.


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