Marlboro Needs To Give Lindsay Lohan A Job…

Let me start by saying that I hate smokers more than most.

I have a communist view of them.

I feel like they should be charged a lot more for cigarettes, perhaps around $70 dollars a pack.

If I were a politician, I would suggest a bill that looks to build closed-in bus stop-sized buildings on street corners where smokers could go and blow second-hand cancer fumes at each other, instead of in my face.

Imagine glass boxes full of smelly, nicotine-addicted monsters. Now imagine Lindsay Lohan is there with them… 

On Thursday she Tweeted a beautiful photo of herself with a cigarette in her mouth and one behind her ear. The message read, “In the words of my beautiful mommy- ‘jus sayin’ ;)”

Another Lindsay post from the same day featured her purse, computer, and pack of Parliaments on a plane, this time she wrote:

“Birkin. Mac Computer. Chanel and a jet. Never quit fighting to live your dreams. God Bless.”

To quote my friends over at Grouchy Muffin, “Who here wouldn’t just about give anything for an overpriced Mauve handbag with authentic dirtbag hand-grime patina all over it!?” Jus sayin.’

Here’s a clip of dear old mom, drunk and possibly high as fuck on Dr. Phil, to put things into perspective. Somebody make Lindsay the new Marlboro man before she suffers a similar fate.

(she’s already turned into Dina, so I’m talking about the Marlboro man’s fate)