Brad Pitt Is Still Making Women Fall Out Of Love With Him In The Name Of Chanel

Seven million dollars and three teasers later and we are finally seeing Brad Pitt’s entire (31 second) Chanel No. 5 advertisement which consists of him being vague while looking like a pensive lesbian.

“Chanel No. 5… inevitable” says black and white Brad as he stares vacantly, probably wondering, like the rest of us, what these phrases and words mean or have to do with scented water.

Charlize Theron welcomely objectified herself for Dior. So what’s the deal with Brad wearing all these clothes?

In long sleeves and khaki pants he looks to be unclogging actual galvanized steel pipes when he should be providing masturbatory material for 20 to 60 year-old women.

Does anyone remember Brad or Johnny Depp’s sexy years? They’re both so tired of being hot that they’ve resorted to assaulting my eyes with their pirate clothes and androgynous circus-person scruff.

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