Yesterday an officer in Queens, New York was arrested for conspiring to cook and eat 100 female victims. Instant messages from 28-year-old Gilberto Valle III, a six-year employee of the NYPD, to an accomplice have been acquired by the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
In the messages, Valle wrote to two unnamed co-conspirators about ovens, chloroform, cages, and not wasting the meat. The price of a fresh human snack: $5,000.
No women were harmed, but Valle and his “friends” face extensive jail time. Hopefully.
Oven size, jaw-dislocation, leg-folding, and apparatuses
CC-1 How big is your oven?
VALLE: Big enough to fit one of these girls if I fold their legs … The abduction will have to be flawless … I know all of them …( Victim-1), I can just show up at her home unannounced. It will not alert her, and I can knock her out, wait until dark and kidnap her right out of her home.
CC-1: It’s really hard to dislocate (lock) a jaw. Also, how would we put her over the fire, spitting kills the girls. Have to put her into a kind of cage. What is your favorite cut of meat?
VALLE: I was thinking of tying her body onto some kind of apparatus .. cook her over a low heat, keep her alive as long as possible.
A mouth-watering but lean snack
VALLE: I love that she is asleep right now not having the slightest clue of what we have planned. Her days are numbered. I’m glad you’re on board. She does look tasty doesn’t she?”
CC-1: You do know if we don’t waste any of her these is nearly 75 lbs of food there.
Cannibal negotiations, Pawn Stars-style
C-2: I definitely want her and how much again, I’m sorry to ask but I don’t remember.
VALLE: $5,000 and she is all yours.
CC-2: Could we do 4?
VALLE: I am putting my neck on the line here. If something goes wrong somehow, I am in deep shit. $5,000 and you need to make sure that she is not found. She will definitely make the news.
Being a “professional kidnapper,” rape, and more haggling
VALLE: It is going to be so hard to restrain myself when I knock her out, but I am aspiring to be a professional kidnapper and that’s my business. But I will really get off on knocking her out, typing up her hands and bare feet and ggging her. Then she will be stuffed into a large piece of luggage and wheeled out to my van.
CC-2: just make sure she doesn’t die before I get her.
VALLE: No need to worry. She will be alive. It’s a short drive to you. I think I would rather not get involved in the rape. You paid for her. She is all yours and I don’t want to be tempted the next time I abduct a girl.
CC-2: I understand. Also, is there anything I can trade you that might knock down the price a bit.
VALLE: No nothing at all. Like I said this is very risky and will ruin my life if I am caught. I really need the money and I can’t take under $5,000 for [Victim-2].