Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [11-11-12]

Mary-Kate Olsen doesn’t at all look like she’s been kidnapped by old Olivier Sarkozy. (ONTD!)

21-year-old in Michigan almost gets away with playing on a high school team. (Yahoo!)

CIA director resigns after sending “All In” biographer/mistress sexy emails. (The Sun)

DJ breaks tattoo artist hearts: Deadmau5 and Kat Von D split. (Celebuzz)

Vin Diesel breaks more hearts, displays cute [shirtless] fatherhood skills on beach. (Daily Mail)

TLC singer T-Boz has no love for Nicki Minaj‘s penis-sucking ways. (Evil Beet)

Hillary Clinton‘s post-retirement plan consists of working out, sleeping and traveling. (Gawker)

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