Jenny McCarthy Had Sex With A Tree, Blames Ecstasy

Thank you, Huffington Post and everyone else. “Actress Tried To Have Sex With A Tree” is officially the best headline of 2012 because it makes you want to read on AND it’s laugh-out-loud funny.

In her new book, Bad Habits: Confessions of a Recovering CatholicPlayboy favorite Jenny McCarthy writes about a time she took too much X in Hawaii and became turned on by everything, including the tree she used to hold herself up.

“The texture felt so good that I decided to rub my head and boobs all over it. It was a tree I was humping.” In another explanation of the affair, she tells Chelsea Handler:

“I took five at once, and I was rolling muh balls off.”

I guess Brian Urlacher’s penis didn’t have enough ridges. Even an all-star linebacker’s defense can’t compare to that of one brave, deep-rooted palm tree.

Read: Jenny McCarthy Sent a Naked Pic to an 80-Year-Old Dentist

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s