Raise your hand if you understand the innuendo in a title about Lindsay‘s bellybutton being close to her red carpet? Lower your hand if you don’t think it’s funny. Alright, that narrows it down to all of you. Now direct your eyes to this Motel 6 hooker dress, worn at the L.A. premiere of Liz & Dick.
What’s the most offensive thing about this? The holes in the front, or the visible hole in her stomach?
I’d say, at this point in her life, her bellybutton is the most appealing thing about her, but only because it’s an innie and I don’t see any Raisinets inside.
Here are some of the Liz & Dick reviews Lindsay Lohan won’t be reading:
“‘Liz and Dick’ is badly paced, cheap-looking and encrusted with a tinkly, preposterous soundtrack that is designed to make viewers go insane.”
–Maureen Ryan, Huffington Post
“Taylor has lines like ‘End of story!’ that sound suspiciously 21st century. At another point she tells Burton they should go to the pool and he replies, ‘I don’t need a pool. I’ve got a whole ocean in you.’ ‘Liz & Dick,’ in the end, feels closer to a puddle.”
–David Hinckley, NY Daily News
“Her performance doesn’t resemble any sentient human being emotionally.”
–Robert Bianco, USA TODAY
–Sheila Marikar, ABC News
“Drinking games were made for movies like this.”
–Tim Goodman, Hollywood Reporter
“It could have been terrible in a fun way, but is, alas, terrible in the other way: It’s so terrible, you’ll need to ice your face when it’s over to ease the pain of wincing for two hours.”
–David Wiegand, San Francisco Chronicle
Many of the reviews mention a Liz & Dick drinking game that I would very much like to play. Somebody write the rules in the comment section?