Palace Says William Popped Kate’s Middle (‘The Duchess of Cambridge is Expecting a Baby’)

Kate Middleton pregnant hockeyAfter 50 million tabloids whispered about every biscuit and sip of tea that found itself in Kate Middleton‘s belly, the palace has confirmed that there actually is a royal half-blood Prince baby on the way!

The Associated Press released an official statement from Buckingham saying, “Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Cambridge is expecting a baby.”

Also in the statement, a massive list of relatives who are happy for the couple, and something about Kate being like all pregnant women (needing rest and a hospital visit).

Middleton does have hyperemesis gravidarum (severe morning sickness) and I advise Will and Queen Elizathug to put her in that spinning ballroom from The Haunting surrounded by 20 diamond toilet bowls.

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