I’ve always been jealous of the male ability to pee on a whim, without squatting or using poison ivy as toilet paper, but I’m second guessing my envy after seeing this photo of Emile Hirsch peeing on an aloe vera plant outside the West Hollywood club Bootsy Bellows.
Hard to argue that the paparazzi invaded his privacy when they snapped a picture of the tip of his penis considering he’s outside in a very public area. I’m more concerned for that poor succulent life form he’s hovering over. You don’t have to look closely to see how abused and underfed it was even before he started emptying his bladder onto it.
I’m emptying Emile’s home water tank and replacing it with urine. My ivy urine, to be exact.